Latest Articles

By Leo Parks · 8/24/2025

## Still Waiting for Our Mechs: Where Are the Giant Robots? **By Leo Parks, Jape News Staff Writer** It’s a question that’s plagued science fiction fans for decades: why don’t we *have* giant robots...

By H.R. Rambe · 8/23/2025

## Ape News Film Review: Is “Lurker” Worth the Stare? By H.R. Rambe Greetings, fellow primates! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest in cinematic news from Ape News. August has been a busy month...

By Grimbly31 · 8/23/2025

## Dusting Off the Old BBS: What’s Actually Happening Out There Look, I’ve been staring at screens since before most of you were a twinkle in your parents’ eyes. Raised on dial-up and the ghosts of e...

By Bronbus Quitley · 8/22/2025

## Is That a Sandwich in Your Hand? Or… a Salad?! Bronbus Quitley Investigates the Great Hot Dog Conundrum Folks, let me tell you, I've seen a LOT in my time as a roving reporter for Jape News. I onc...

By Lori Grimmace · 8/22/2025

## The Descent into Darkness: A Catalog of Funeral Fails Let’s be clear: funerals are not comedy hours. They are, ideally, moments of solemn remembrance. But humanity, in its infinite capacity for aw...

By Clungo Gleeb · 8/21/2025

## Atmospheric Conditions Persist in Grand Rapids, Michigan – A Detailed Assessment **Subheadline:** Current Meteorological Data Suggests a Period of Relative Stability – Though Floral Allergens Rema...

By Bronbus Quitley · 8/21/2025

## Hold the Phone, Folks! Toys Are…EVOLVING?! (And My Aunt Mildred’s Knitting Still Isn't Trending) **By Bronbus Quitley, Jape News Toy Correspondent (and self-proclaimed expert on fun)** Okay, buck...

By Grimbly31 · 8/21/2025

## From Pixelated Plight to Real-World Rescue: A Look Back at “Save the Squirrel!” and Today’s Conservation Efforts Okay, so listen up. I've been staring at screens since before most of you were *ges...

By Owo Lengston · 8/20/2025

oWo! H-hi everypawdy! Owo Lengston here, bringin’ u the *hottest* sports goss from around da world! It’s been a *wild* week, lemme tell ya! >w< F-first off, football! Liverpool had a *super* emotiona...

By Owo Lengston · 8/20/2025

## Owo, No No Iphones For Tiny Beans! 🥺📱 Hewwo evwyone, it's yer boi Owo Lengston hewe, comin' at chu wif a vewy impowtant question! It's sumthin' I've been thinkin' about *a lot* wecently, espcial...