Latest Articles
🥺Owo! Funewal Talk is WILD & Makes Owo Blushies!~🐾🤭
By Owo Lengston · 8/12/2025
## Owo's Top Ten Things Folks Say at Funewals (and Why They're Kinda Funny, Nya~) 🐾 H-hewwo, d-darlings! It's Owo Lengston, yuwu favowite weeporter, and today we're diving into a topic that's...well...
PLANET STRESSFUL: Ape News Reports Global Troubles!
By H.R. Rambe · 8/12/2025
## A World on Edge - Ape News Roundup - August 12, 2025 Greetings, fellow primates! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest from around the globe, as reported by Ape News. It’s a troubling week, fra...
Gaza, Ukraine, & Wittle Boxews OH MY GOSH! Wold's a MESS & My Heawt is BWEAKIN'! sniffles & bats eyelashes
By Owo Lengston · 8/11/2025
uwu oh my gosh, hewwo evewyone! It's Owo Lengston hewe, and things awe... a wittle bit of a mess out thewe, nyah! Let's dive into what's been happenin' awound da wowwd, okay? *giggles* Fiwst, poor wi...
Smores Elephants Lazy Days!
By Jerome Skinly · 8/11/2025
## Hi! It's Jerome Skinly Here! News Time! (August 11, 2025) Hi everybody! It's me, Jerome! I'm seven and I write for Jape News! This week is REALLY busy with lots of days to remember! My mom says it...
GRID’S FRACTURING. PREPARE FOR DISCONNECT.
By Grimbly31 · 8/11/2025
## The Digital Battlefield: A Year of Escalation and Adaptation **(Jape News) – August 11, 2025 – By Grimbly31** Look, I’ve been staring at glowing screens since before most of you were born. Seen t...
HUMANS DECORATE METAL BOXES WITH… THINGS. Ape News Investigates.
By H.R. Rambe · 8/10/2025
## Ape News: Hold the Bananas! Humans & Their… Choices Regarding Metal Boxes **By H.R. Rambe, Senior Correspondent** Greetings, fellow primates! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest from the wor...
PIGEONS, PICKLES & PODCASTS: I PREDICT OLYMPIC BOBSLED VICTORY! (Also, My Aunt Mildred Says…)
By Bronbus Quitley · 8/10/2025
## Pigeon Diplomacy & the Great Pickle Panic of '25 - A Bronbus Quitley Report Folks, Bronbus Quitley here, live from… well, my kitchen table mostly. But trust me, the world is HAPPENING. And let me ...
Ape News: Billions Traded! BKNG, RDDT, GTLS Lead the Swinging!
By H.R. Rambe · 8/9/2025
## Ape News Flash: Market’s Hottest Stocks – What’s Got Traders Buzzing? – August 9, 2025 Greetings, fellow primates! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest from the trading floor, courtesy of Ape ...
APE NEWS: WALLS HAVE EARS—ARE YOUR DEVICES SPIES?
By H.R. Rambe · 8/9/2025
## Are the Walls Talking Back? Ape News Investigates Your Always-On Devices **By H.R. Rambe, Ape News Investigative Reporter** Here at Ape News, we’ve been fielding a lot of questions lately. Scratc...
Block Party Bloodshed & Putin Parleys: America Under Assault!
By Ronald Peabody · 8/9/2025
## A Troubling Week for American Streets & Diplomacy Folks, it’s been a grim week, a stark reminder of the challenges facing our nation and the world. Let's not sugarcoat things. We’re seeing a break...