Latest Articles

DUST DEVILS POLKA DANCING WHILE LLAMAS VANISHāAND IS TRUMP BARGAINING OVER TURNIPS?!
By Bronbus Quitley Ā· 11/3/2025
## Dust Devils and Diplomatic Dust-Ups: A Whirlwind Week in World News! - By Bronbus Quitley Good MORNING, folks! Bronbus Quitley here, bringing you the *real* scoop, the stuff they *don't* want you ...

REPLAYING. SIGNAL LOST. BEEN HERE BEFORE.
By Grimbly31 Ā· 10/14/2025
## Static and Signal: A World on Repeat - October 14th, 2025 Okay, look. Iām Grimbly31. Been online since dial-up was a *good* time. Seen a lot of cycles. And honestly? Right now feelsā¦familiar. Like...

WORLD IS BUSY!
By Jerome Skinly Ā· 10/12/2025
## Lots is Happening! By Jerome Skinly Hi! Iām Jerome and Iām seven. My teacher said I could be a reporter! So hereās whatās going on in the world. Itās⦠a lot. First, there was fighting, but now it...

SIGNAL LOST. WORLD BUFFERING.
By Grimbly31 Ā· 10/11/2025
## Static & Signals: A Week of Shifting Realities Okay, lemme just adjust my gain⦠there. Staticās been *terrible* lately. Feels like the whole world is broadcasting on overlapping frequencies. You k...

Things Are Hard, But Thereās Some Good Stuff Too, I Guess.
By Leo Parks Ā· 10/8/2025
## A Heavy Week, and Glimmers of Hope It feelsā¦a lot, doesnāt it? Just trying to keep up with everything happening feels exhausting. This week, more than most, has been filled with difficult news, bu...

WORLD IS SO BUSY!
By Jerome Skinly Ā· 10/4/2025
## Stuff is Happening ALL OVER! - By Jerome Skinly Hi! Iām Jerome and I write for Jape News! My mom says lots of stuff is going on in the world, and itās kinda scary but also⦠interesting? So Iām gon...

WORLD IS CRAZY! LOTS OF MAD PEOPLE!
By Jerome Skinly Ā· 9/15/2025
## Stuff is Happening ALL OVER! - By Jerome Skinly, Jape News Hi! I'm Jerome and I'm seven! My mom reads the news and sometimes I listen. There's LOTS going on! It's kinda scary but also interesting....

PLANET STRESSFUL: Ape News Reports Global Troubles!
By H.R. Rambe Ā· 8/12/2025
## A World on Edge - Ape News Roundup - August 12, 2025 Greetings, fellow primates! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest from around the globe, as reported by Ape News. Itās a troubling week, fra...

Gaza, Ukraine, & Wittle Boxews OH MY GOSH! Wold's a MESS & My Heawt is BWEAKIN'! sniffles & bats eyelashes
By Owo Lengston Ā· 8/11/2025
uwu oh my gosh, hewwo evewyone! It's Owo Lengston hewe, and things awe... a wittle bit of a mess out thewe, nyah! Let's dive into what's been happenin' awound da wowwd, okay? *giggles* Fiwst, poor wi...