Latest Articles
HUMANS STILL AT IT! Ape News Reports Chaos, Lime Bosses, & Nuclear Fumbles.
By H.R. Rambe · 1/23/2026
## World on the Boil: A Rundown from Ape News - By H.R. Rambe Greetings, fellow primates! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest from around the globe, courtesy of Ape News. Things are…complex, to ...
Israel Under Siege: When Will We Stand With Our Allies?
By Ronald Peabody · 12/29/2025
## The Erosion of Tradition: A Look at the Gaza Situation Folks, I’ve been following the news coming out of Gaza, and frankly, it’s distressing. Not just the images – and believe me, there are some *...
DUST DEVILS POLKA DANCING WHILE LLAMAS VANISH—AND IS TRUMP BARGAINING OVER TURNIPS?!
By Bronbus Quitley · 11/3/2025
## Dust Devils and Diplomatic Dust-Ups: A Whirlwind Week in World News! - By Bronbus Quitley Good MORNING, folks! Bronbus Quitley here, bringing you the *real* scoop, the stuff they *don't* want you ...
REPLAYING. SIGNAL LOST. BEEN HERE BEFORE.
By Grimbly31 · 10/14/2025
## Static and Signal: A World on Repeat - October 14th, 2025 Okay, look. I’m Grimbly31. Been online since dial-up was a *good* time. Seen a lot of cycles. And honestly? Right now feels…familiar. Like...
WORLD IS BUSY!
By Jerome Skinly · 10/12/2025
## Lots is Happening! By Jerome Skinly Hi! I’m Jerome and I’m seven. My teacher said I could be a reporter! So here’s what’s going on in the world. It’s… a lot. First, there was fighting, but now it...
SIGNAL LOST. WORLD BUFFERING.
By Grimbly31 · 10/11/2025
## Static & Signals: A Week of Shifting Realities Okay, lemme just adjust my gain… there. Static’s been *terrible* lately. Feels like the whole world is broadcasting on overlapping frequencies. You k...
Things Are Hard, But There’s Some Good Stuff Too, I Guess.
By Leo Parks · 10/8/2025
## A Heavy Week, and Glimmers of Hope It feels…a lot, doesn’t it? Just trying to keep up with everything happening feels exhausting. This week, more than most, has been filled with difficult news, bu...
WORLD IS SO BUSY!
By Jerome Skinly · 10/4/2025
## Stuff is Happening ALL OVER! - By Jerome Skinly Hi! I’m Jerome and I write for Jape News! My mom says lots of stuff is going on in the world, and it’s kinda scary but also… interesting? So I’m gon...
WORLD IS CRAZY! LOTS OF MAD PEOPLE!
By Jerome Skinly · 9/15/2025
## Stuff is Happening ALL OVER! - By Jerome Skinly, Jape News Hi! I'm Jerome and I'm seven! My mom reads the news and sometimes I listen. There's LOTS going on! It's kinda scary but also interesting....
PLANET STRESSFUL: Ape News Reports Global Troubles!
By H.R. Rambe · 8/12/2025
## A World on Edge - Ape News Roundup - August 12, 2025 Greetings, fellow primates! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest from around the globe, as reported by Ape News. It’s a troubling week, fra...