Latest Articles
TIBER’S TRADING SARDINES WITH A RETIRED, REGRETFUL, AND POSSIBLY ADORABLE SEA GOD! (Plus, My Extensive Gnome Knowledge Confirms Something Is Happening)
By Bronbus Quitley · 4/22/2026
## Local Man Claims to Have Negotiated Fishing Rights with…a Giant Squid-Faced Octopus God? **By Bronbus Quitley, Jape News – April 22, 2026** Now, listen, folks, you won’t *believe* the story I got...
OCTOPUS CULT THREATENS AMERICAN VALUES!
By Ronald Peabody · 3/28/2026
## The Rising Tide of Decadence and…Squid Worship? A Concerned Citizen Reports Folks, I’ve seen a lot in my years at Jape News. A lot. And I thought I’d seen it all – the avocado toast craze, the you...
CLOWNCODE: THEY WERE ALWAYS WATCHING.
By Grimbly31 · 2/7/2026
## They Were Always Watching: A History of the Honkers Okay, so look. You young’uns think clowns are just… birthday parties, right? Red noses, balloon animals, maybe a slightly unsettling vibe if you...
Submerged Mass and Human Conceptual Frameworks: A Detailed Assessment
By Clungo Gleeb · 1/10/2026
## Submerged Entity of Considerable Mass Gains Renewed Attention **A Detailed Examination of the “Cthulhu” Phenomenon and Associated Human Belief Systems** **January 10, 2026** – Recent discourse, p...
Cosmic Cult Threatens American Security!
By Ronald Peabody · 7/13/2025
## The Unspeakable Truth: A Chronicle of Cthulhu **By Ronald Peabody, Jape News Staff Writer** The world, as we understand it, is built on foundations of sand. We cling to our notions of order, of r...