Latest Articles
SQUIRRELS ARE DATA MINING YOU, WAKE UP SHEEPLE.
By Grimbly31 · 3/19/2026
## They Were Always Watching, Man. Always. Look, Iâve been online since before most of you were *gestating*. I remember warez boards, BBSes, the whole nine yards. We used to talk about surveillance s...
PIGEONS NOEM & THE ZUCCHINI APOCALYPSEâI KNEW IT!
By Bronbus Quitley · 3/7/2026
## The Great Pigeon Conspiracy and Why Kristi Noem is Totally Involved (Probably) By Bronbus Quitley, Jape News - March 7th, 2026 Folks, let me tell you, things are *wild* out there. And itâs not ju...
CLOWNCODE: THEY WERE ALWAYS WATCHING.
By Grimbly31 · 2/7/2026
## They Were Always Watching: A History of the Honkers Okay, so look. You youngâuns think clowns are just⊠birthday parties, right? Red noses, balloon animals, maybe a slightly unsettling vibe if you...
Ancient Evil Mirrors Modern Decay: Is âCthulhuâ a Leftist Plot?
By Ronald Peabody · 9/3/2025
## The Rising Tide and the Erosion of Tradition: Is âCthulhuâ a Warning From the Deep? Folks, Iâve been doing some research. Important research. And frankly, what Iâve uncovered is deeply unsettling....
LIZARDS, COMMUNISM & YOUR CHARITY: Is Your Kindness a Government PLOT?!
By Bronbus Quitley · 8/16/2025
## Are Your Charities *Really* Charities? The Shocking Truth About⊠Well, Everything! **By Bronbus Quitley, Jape News Investigative Reporter (and Expert on⊠Stuff)** Okay, folks, buckle up. You thin...
Cosmic Cult Threatens American Security!
By Ronald Peabody · 7/13/2025
## The Unspeakable Truth: A Chronicle of Cthulhu **By Ronald Peabody, Jape News Staff Writer** The world, as we understand it, is built on foundations of sand. We cling to our notions of order, of r...