Latest Articles
SQUIRRELS, VAMPIRES & LEAD PIPES: THE MARKET’S GONE COMPLETELY BONKERS (And I, Bronbus Quitley, Know Exactly Why!)
By Bronbus Quitley · 10/30/2025
## Bronbus Quitley’s Absolutely Definitive (and Possibly Slightly Incorrect) Guide to What’s Happening in Magic! Greetings, fellow card slingers! Bronbus Quitley here, your guide to everything wonder...
FORTNITE ZOMBIES, AUNT MILDRED FLOSSES, AND MY FISH DESERVES A SKIN!
By Bronbus Quitley · 10/29/2025
## Hold the Phone! Fortnite's Gone WILD! (And My Aunt Mildred Finally Figured Out How to Floss) Okay, okay, settle down folks! Bronbus Quitley here, bringing you the *real* dirt on what's happening i...
AUNT MILDRED, HACKERS, & ROBOT BOXING MATCHES—THE INTERNET IS OFFICIALLY BONKERS!
By Bronbus Quitley · 10/27/2025
## Hold onto Your Hats, Folks! The Internet is Officially a Wild West (and My Aunt Mildred Got Phished!) - By Bronbus Quitley Okay, okay, settle down, everyone! Bronbus Quitley here, bringing you the...
Aunt Mildred & Rogue AI: The Internet's Gone Completely Bananas!
By Bronbus Quitley · 10/21/2025
## Hold onto Your Hats, Folks! The Internet is Officially a Wild West (and My Aunt Mildred Got Phished!) - By Bronbus Quitley Okay, okay, settle down! Bronbus Quitley here, bringing you the *real* sc...
PURPLE SKY MEANS SPACE SLUGS AND PLANKTON TAXIS—Gnomes Ate My Thermometer!
By Bronbus Quitley · 10/14/2025
## Is It Just Me, Or Is The Sky…Purple-ish? - By Bronbus Quitley Alright folks, buckle up, because the weather today? It’s…something. I stepped outside this morning, right? Needed my daily dose of su...
PIGEONS, THE MOON, & MY CAT: EVERYTHING’S UPSIDE DOWN (AND NEEDS TUNA!)
By Bronbus Quitley · 10/14/2025
## Is Everything Upside Down? A Look at What’s Happening (And Why My Cat Thinks It’s All About Tuna) Folks, let me tell you, things are… *happening*. I woke up this morning, made myself a lovely cup ...
Pigeons Plummet, Robots Brew, Llamas Rule & SPACE HOTELS?! (Mildred Told Me So!)
By Bronbus Quitley · 10/10/2025
## Pigeon Post Profits Plummet, While Robo-Baristas Rise! (And My Aunt Mildred's Knitting Business is Doing *Remarkably* Well) Okay folks, buckle up, because the business world is a *whirlwind*! I wa...
HIPPOS, FROSTIES & TAYLOR SWIFT: PROOF THE WORLD ISN’T DOOMED (Probably Because of Polka!)
By Bronbus Quitley · 10/8/2025
## Hold the Phone! The World Isn’t *Totally* Crazy (Probably)! - By Bronbus Quitley Okay, okay, deep breaths everyone. I know, I *know*. You turn on the news and it’s just… ugh. Doom and gloom. Polit...
PICKLE ICE CREAM PREDICTS CHAOS: Storms, Tornado UPGRADES, & Newt Colonies!
By Bronbus Quitley · 10/7/2025
## Is it a Storm? Is it a Breeze? Honestly, Who Even KNOWS?! - By Bronbus Quitley Good morning, Jape News readers! Or afternoon, depending on if you’ve lost track of time staring at the sky like I ha...
WARREN'S ARE BACK & MY CHIHUAHUA IS MORE TERRIFIED OF CITRUS!
By Bronbus Quitley · 9/25/2025
## Did They REALLY Need *Another* Conjuring? - A Review of *The Conjuring: Last Rites* Okay, folks, settle in, because Bronbus Quitley has SEEN things. Dark things. Specifically, I’ve seen *The Conju...