Latest Articles
HOT DOGS ARE SALADS & THE PIGEONS KNOW EVERYTHING (Plus Zucchini Wisdom!)
By Bronbus Quitley Ā· 8/26/2025
## Is a Hot Dog a Sandwich? Orā¦ a Salad?! My Investigation (and the Pigeon Conspiracy) By Bronbus Quitley, Jape News Culinary Correspondent (and Expert on All Things Delicious, Mostly) Okay, folks, ...
HOT DOGS ARE SECRETLY WATERMELONS AND THE DALAI LAMA IS A PIGEON UNION BOSSāI HAVE PROOF!
By Bronbus Quitley Ā· 8/22/2025
## Is That a Sandwich in Your Hand? Orā¦ a Salad?! Bronbus Quitley Investigates the Great Hot Dog Conundrum Folks, let me tell you, I've seen a LOT in my time as a roving reporter for Jape News. I onc...
TOYS ARE ALIVE I TELL YAāPIGEONS PLAYING VIDEO GAMES & MY AUNT MILDRED IS STILL WAITING FOR HER KNITTING MOMENT!
By Bronbus Quitley Ā· 8/21/2025
## Hold the Phone, Folks! Toys Areā¦EVOLVING?! (And My Aunt Mildredās Knitting Still Isn't Trending) **By Bronbus Quitley, Jape News Toy Correspondent (and self-proclaimed expert on fun)** Okay, buck...
NEWGROUNDS STILL EXISTS & IS FULL OF ROOMBAS, RUST, & MY ASSISTANTāS CONFUSION!
By Bronbus Quitley Ā· 8/19/2025
## Hold on to Your Hats, Folks! Newgrounds is *Still* Doing Things! - By Bronbus Quitley Alright, settle in, because lemme tell ya, I just spent the lastā¦ well, letās just say *a while* digging throu...
LIZARDS, COMMUNISM & YOUR CHARITY: Is Your Kindness a Government PLOT?!
By Bronbus Quitley Ā· 8/16/2025
## Are Your Charities *Really* Charities? The Shocking Truth Aboutā¦ Well, Everything! **By Bronbus Quitley, Jape News Investigative Reporter (and Expert onā¦ Stuff)** Okay, folks, buckle up. You thin...
FRIDGE TYRANNY MUST END! Bananas Demand Sunshine, Potatoes Plot Escape!
By Bronbus Quitley Ā· 8/14/2025
## The Fridge Rebellion: What *Doesn't* Belong in the Cold! ā By Bronbus Quitley Good morning, Jape News readers! Bronbus Quitley here, and let me tell you, Iāve been doing some *serious* investigati...
MOONTAKU FOUNDER: SECRETLY OBSESSED WITH VACUUMS (AND CHARTREUSE IS BETTER, OBVIOUSLY!)
By Bronbus Quitley Ā· 8/13/2025
## Should We Challenge the Moon? Jape News Ponders a Rivalry with Moontaku! Good morning, Japers! Bronbus Quitley here, your friendly neighborhood newsā¦ well, *gatherer* really. Look, gathering is a ...
BEAVERS ARE PLOTTING AND THE WEATHER CHANNEL PROVED IT! (Plus, spontaneous pigeon combustion!)
By Bronbus Quitley Ā· 8/12/2025
## Is the Weather Messing With *You*?! - By Bronbus Quitley Alright folks, settle in, because the weather today? Hoo boy. Itās a doozy. Iām tellinā ya, the atmosphere is justā¦ *moody*. It's like it w...
PIGEONS, PICKLES & PODCASTS: I PREDICT OLYMPIC BOBSLED VICTORY! (Also, My Aunt Mildred Saysā¦)
By Bronbus Quitley Ā· 8/10/2025
## Pigeon Diplomacy & the Great Pickle Panic of '25 - A Bronbus Quitley Report Folks, Bronbus Quitley here, live fromā¦ well, my kitchen table mostly. But trust me, the world is HAPPENING. And let me ...
PEDRO PASCAL IS A GENIUS AND ALSO MY AUNT MILDREDāS FRUITCAKE IS A WARNING!
By Bronbus Quitley Ā· 8/7/2025
## Bronbus Quitleyās Big Picture Bonanza: Is āThe Fantastic Four: First Stepsā a Fantastic First Impression? Right, hello folks, Bronbus Quitley here, your guide to the glittering, sometimes gritty, ...