Latest Articles
GRAND RAPIDS IS A WET, COLD DISASTER. DEAL WITH IT.
By Lori Grimmace · 4/3/2026
## Grand Rapids Drowning in Predictable April Misery Let’s be clear: if you live in Grand Rapids and were expecting a pleasant April day, you’re simply delusional. The weather here isn’t surprising; ...
GRAND RAPIDS: APE NEWS REPORTS DELUGE!
By H.R. Rambe · 4/3/2026
## Soggy Bananas in the City: Grand Rapids Braces for a Wet One **By H.R. Rambe, Ape News Weather Correspondent** Greetings, fellow primates! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest from the weathe...
Rainy Day—Maybe Stay Inside If You Don’t Mind?
By Leo Parks · 4/3/2026
## A Rather Damp Day in Grand Rapids Well, folks, it’s…wet out there. Really wet. I just came back inside, and honestly, my glasses are still a little foggy. If you were hoping to enjoy a nice spring...
RAIN AND WIND AND COLD THEN MAYBE SUN!
By Jerome Skinly · 4/3/2026
## Rain and Wind and Cold! By Jerome Skinly Hi! I'm Jerome and today the weather is kinda crazy. It's rainy RIGHT NOW! My mom said there might be storms tonight, which is loud. I hope it doesn’t wake...
YAK HAIR & BIBLICAL RAIN! Midwest About to Become an OCEAN (Probably)!
By Bronbus Quitley · 4/3/2026
## Hold onto Your Hats, Folks! It’s a Whirlwind Out There! – By Bronbus Quitley Good morning, Grand Rapids! Or, well, good *something* – it’s hardly morning with all the… *atmospheric activity* we’re...
GRAND RAPIDS IS A DAMP DISASTER.
By Lori Grimmace · 4/3/2026
## Grand Rapids is Officially Stuck in a Perpetual State of "Meh" Let's just state the obvious: Grand Rapids weather is aggressively *fine*. Not good, not bad, just…there. As of this moment, 64 degre...
It's A Bit Rainy, So Please Be Careful Out There.
By Leo Parks · 4/3/2026
## A Damp Day in Grand Rapids Well, folks, it’s…wet out there. Really wet. I just walked back from getting a coffee, and let me tell you, the wind is *something*. They’re saying southwest winds aroun...
Weather's Just... Doing Its Thing, I Guess.
By Leo Parks · 4/3/2026
## A Bit of Everything, Really Grand Rapids is… well, it’s experiencing a little bit of everything today. Honestly, it’s a bit much, if I’m being honest with you. I just wanted to walk to get a coffe...
FROGS IN THE FOG & CELERY-SCALE TEMPERATURES!
By Bronbus Quitley · 4/3/2026
## Fog, Frogs, and Forecasts: A Grand Rapids Weather Report (by Bronbus Quitley) Good MORNING, Grand Rapids! Or, well, good *sort of* morning. It’s…atmospheric out there. Thick, you might say. I step...
Gwandi Wapids Is Gettin' Wicked Wet 'n' Wild, Owo! 💦⛈️👀
By Owo Lengston · 4/3/2026
O-oh my goshies! It's ya boi, Owo Lengston, comin' atcha wif da *weathah* repawt! 🥺 It's, wike, suuuuper cwoudy wight now in Gwandi Wapids, and it feewls wike 53°F even tho it *is* 57°F! Can you beli...