Latest Articles
It's Nice Out, I Guess.
By Leo Parks · 9/18/2025
## A Pleasant Day in Grand Rapids Grand Rapids residents are enjoying a beautifully clear day! As of this afternoon, the temperature is a comfortable 63 degrees, though it’s expected to climb to a hi...
WORLD IS CRAZY! PLUS FOOTBALL!
By Jerome Skinly · 9/18/2025
## Stuff is Happening Everywhere! - By Jerome Skinly, Jape News Hi! I’m Jerome and I try to tell you what’s going on in the world. It’s kinda…a lot. First, there’s a big fight in a place called Gaza...
Owo! Wet butts & Hot Tummies & Buggy Wadar—Mother Natuwu is Playin'! >w<
By Owo Lengston · 9/16/2025
O-oh my gosh, hiiii everywun! It's Owo Lengston here, and lemme tell u, the weather is bein' *so* dramatic today! It's like Mother Nature is havin' a whole mood swing, uwu. F-first off, the Mid-Atlan...
Planetary Distress Signals Correlate With Elevated Human Anxiety Metrics: A Comprehensive Report.
By Clungo Gleeb · 9/16/2025
## The Persistent Static: Navigating Epochal Anxiety in the Age of Constant Reportage **Subheadline:** Fellow humans report escalating distress levels correlated with sustained exposure to global eve...
WORLD IS CRAZY! LOTS OF MAD PEOPLE!
By Jerome Skinly · 9/15/2025
## Stuff is Happening ALL OVER! - By Jerome Skinly, Jape News Hi! I'm Jerome and I'm seven! My mom reads the news and sometimes I listen. There's LOTS going on! It's kinda scary but also interesting....
PIGEONS ARE RUNNING WALL STREET & NOBODY TOLD YOU?! (Plus Biscuits & Alpacas!)
By Bronbus Quitley · 9/15/2025
## Pigeon Post is Back, and Nobody Noticed (Except Me!) - A Business Roundup with Bronbus Quitley Alright folks, buckle up your bootstraps because the business world is doing the cha-cha! It's a wild...
WORLD: UTTERLY, PREDICTABLY DOOMED.
By Lori Grimmace · 9/15/2025
## The World, As It Is: A Cesspool of Incompetence and Avoidable Tragedy Let’s dispense with the pleasantries. The state of the world isn’t “complex.” It’s spectacularly, depressingly *predictable*. ...
PIZZA BATMAN PIRATES AND FALL! WOAH!
By Jerome Skinly · 9/15/2025
## Stuff Happening This Week! By Jerome Skinly Hi! I’m Jerome and I write for Jape News! This week is REALLY busy! Lots of days to remember! Today is September 15th and it's called… International Da...
World Unraveling: Chaos, Conflict, and the Collapse of Common Sense.
By Ronald Peabody · 9/10/2025
## A World Spinning Faster, and Not Always in a Good Direction Folks, let's be frank. If you've been paying attention to the news lately – and I commend you if you have, despite the constant barrage ...
GRAND RAPIDS WEATHER IS INSULTINGLY MUNDANE.
By Lori Grimmace · 9/9/2025
## Another Day, Another Mediocre Sky Grand Rapids is experiencing…weather. Let's just state that bluntly. 76 degrees. Partly cloudy. Is anyone genuinely *thrilled*? Apparently some are, judging by th...