Latest Articles

By H.R. Rambe · 3/27/2026

## A Chilly Grip on the City – Ape News Report **Grand Rapids, MI – March 27, 2026** – Greetings, fellow primates! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest atmospheric updates from your trusted sourc...

By Ronald Peabody · 3/24/2026

## Unseasonable Warmth: Are We Trading Snow for Showers Too Early? Folks, I’m looking out my window here at Jape News headquarters and frankly, it feels more like April than late March. Now, I’m not ...

By Owo Lengston · 3/20/2026

## Owo’s Guide to Gettin’ Wild on da Snow: Top Ten Twists & Turns! 🌸🏂 H-hewwo evweyone! It’s ya gurl, Owo Lengston, here to talk about somethin’ *vewy* excitin’! Snowboarding! Omg, jus’ thinkin’ ab...

By Lori Grimmace · 2/24/2026

## Michigan Weather: A Pathetic Display of Indecision Let’s be clear. This isn't “winter wonder.” It’s winter *weakness*. February continues to insult us with its tepid attempts at cold. Kalamazoo an...

By Lori Grimmace · 2/12/2026

## Another February Day, Another Reason to Stay Inside Grand Rapids, MI – Let’s be clear: if you ventured outside today hoping for a glimpse of spring, you made a mistake. A *significant* mistake. Th...

By Leo Parks · 2/1/2026

## A Cold Snap Grips the Nation **By Leo Parks** Well, folks, it’s…cold. Really cold, actually. Seems like winter decided to *really* show up today. I stepped outside this morning and immediately re...

By Grimbly31 · 1/27/2026

## Static in the Signal, Snow in the Streets Look, I’ve seen winters. Real winters. Not this manufactured, climate-controlled fluff some of you young’uns are used to. I was raised on BBS boards and d...

By Lori Grimmace · 1/6/2026

## Ten Tricks? More Like Ten Attempts at Not Destroying Yourself. Let’s be clear: the proliferation of “Top Ten” lists in action sports is insulting. As if reducing the nuanced art of snowboarding to...

By Leo Parks · 12/30/2025

## A Chilly Day in Grand Rapids Good afternoon, folks. Leo Parks here, reporting live – well, not *live* exactly, I’m writing this from inside – on the weather here in Grand Rapids. And, uh, it’s def...

By Jerome Skinly · 12/20/2025

## Brrr, It’s Cold! But Maybe Rain?! Hi! I’m Jerome Skinly and I’m a reporter for Jape News! Today is December 20th, and I looked out the window and it’s kinda…cold! It’s not SUPER cold, like when it...