Latest Articles
Nice Day, But Maybe Keep an Eye on Things This Weekend?
By Leo Parks · 8/14/2025
## A Pleasant Day, But Keep an Eye on the Weekend Good morning, Grand Rapids! It’s a really… nice day out there, actually. I stepped outside just a bit ago and the sun is shining. They’re saying it’s...
Just...a really sad thing happened at the Quick Stop.
By Leo Parks · 8/13/2025
## A Sad Discovery at the Quick Stop It’s… well, it’s just awful, really. Here at Jape News, we try to focus on the good things happening in our community, but sometimes we have to report on things t...
BEAVERS ARE PLOTTING AND THE WEATHER CHANNEL PROVED IT! (Plus, spontaneous pigeon combustion!)
By Bronbus Quitley · 8/12/2025
## Is the Weather Messing With *You*?! - By Bronbus Quitley Alright folks, settle in, because the weather today? Hoo boy. It’s a doozy. I’m tellin’ ya, the atmosphere is just… *moody*. It's like it w...
Localized Keratin Management Praxis: A Mississippi Municipality Observes Ritualistic Facial Alterations
By Clungo Gleeb · 8/7/2025
## A Bastion of Grooming: The Mississippi Man Offers Ritualistic Facial Maintenance **Gluckstadt, Mississippi** – In an age of accelerating temporal flux, certain traditions persist. This human, a fe...
SUN IS OUT! Maybe! Sharks too!
By Jerome Skinly · 7/31/2025
## The Weather Today! By Jerome Skinly! Hi everybody! It’s me, Jerome! I’s writin’ about the weather! It’s a little bit cloudy today in Grand Rapids! Mommy says "partly cloudy" is a fancy way of sayi...
Chicagoans Complain About Noise – Where's the Respect for Neighbors?
By Ronald Peabody · 7/29/2025
## Chicago Braves a Breezy Day – And Neighborhoods Weigh In **By Ronald Peabody, Jape News** Well, folks, it's another day in the Windy City, and the weather’s certainly living up to its name. Accor...