Latest Articles
Owo! Summa Heat Goin' To Make Ya Sweaty & Show Off All Da Good Bits! <3
By Owo Lengston · 12/11/2025
Owo, hewwo evewyone! It's ya boi, Owo Lengston, bringin' you da scoop on da weatha today! *wiggles eyebrows* It's gonna be a *smokin'* hot day, wif a high of 70°F! Ooooh, dat's gettin' *warm*, isn't i...
Dimensional Snow & Squirrel Speed Winds: Penguins Incoming!
By Bronbus Quitley · 12/9/2025
## SnowpocalypseâŠMaybe? A Weather Report From Your Pal, Bronbus Quitley Good morninâ, Jape News readers! Bronbus Quitley here, your go-to guy for all thingsâŠwell, all things! And today, folks, weâre ...
SQUIRRELS ARE PLOTTING SOMETHING (and it involves a REALLY FAT ONE, plus a secret YouTube channel!)
By Bronbus Quitley · 12/9/2025
## The Great Squirrel Uprising of '25 (and the Folks Trying to Stop ItâŠOr Help It?) Folks, lemme tell ya, itâs been a *week*. A week of acorns, bushy tails, and frankly, a disturbing amount of tiny, ...
Bwrr! âïž Toesies A-Fweezin' & Maybe Some Snowy Fun?! đâš
By Owo Lengston · 12/4/2025
uwu oh my gosh, hiiiii everwyone! It's ya boi, Owo Lengston, bringin' u da scoop on dis *chilly* weather! âïž Bwrr, it's COLD out dere, peeps! Like, *weally* cold! Right now, it's onwy 16°F, but it *f...
Just A Bit Chilly, Folks, Maybe Some Snow Later
By Leo Parks · 11/27/2025
## A Chilly Day in Grandville Good morning, everyone. This is Leo Parks, reporting for Jape News. Well, itâs definitely November in Michigan, isnât it? I stepped outside this morning and, brr, it wa...
NOVEMBER IS A DISGRACE.
By Lori Grimmace · 11/25/2025
## Another November Day, Another Miserable Mess Letâs just state the obvious: November is actively *trying* to ruin our lives. And succeeding. As of this afternoon, November 25th, 2025, we're wading ...
It's Damp Out There, But We'll Get Through It
By Leo Parks · 11/20/2025
## A Gray Day in Grand Rapids Good morning, folks, Leo Parks here. Well, itâsâŠdrizzly out there. Really drizzly. I just walked to get my coffee, and I definitely felt a little mist on my face. Not a ...
SQUIRRELS, TOASTERS & STRATEGICALLY WEAK LA NIĂAS â IS THIS THE END (or just Tuesday)?
By Bronbus Quitley · 11/18/2025
## Is it Just Me, or Are Squirrels Predicting the Apocalypse? - A Weather Report (Sort Of) Okay, folks, Bronbus Quitley here, bringing you the *real* lowdown on todayâs weather. Forget those stuffy m...
WEATHER CHAOS: Is Mother Nature Sending Us a Message?
By Ronald Peabody · 11/6/2025
## A Chill in the Air, A Sign of the Times? Good morning, folks. Ronald Peabody here, reporting live â well, not *live* exactly, more like⊠thoughtfully composed â on the weather situation in our gre...
Wainy Winds & Spicy Typhoons Makin' Owo Lengston's Booty Wiggle! đ„șđ
By Owo Lengston · 11/5/2025
uwu hi evwyone! It's ya boi, Owo Lengston, here to tell u about da weatha! đ„ș Omygosh, it's kinda gloomy out today, like, *super* cloudy! It's 52°F wight now, which is a lil' chilly, and da wind is b...