Latest Articles
Grand Rapids Weather Seems Cold, Please Be Careful
By Leo Parks ¡ 12/30/2025
## A Chilly Day in Grand Rapids Good afternoon, folks. Leo Parks here, reporting live â well, not *live* exactly, Iâm writing this from inside â on the weather here in Grand Rapids. And, uh, itâs def...
SKY MIME, BEIGE ALERT, PIGEONS PLOT! Tuesday Maybe?
By Bronbus Quitley ¡ 12/26/2025
## Is it Snow? Is it Sleet? Is it⌠Tuesday? - A Jape News Weather Report By Bronbus Quitley Good morning, Jape News viewers! Or, good *whatever time it is when youâre reading this*, honestly. Time i...
Gwandi Wapids Weafew: Pawtly Cwoudy & Pefect Fow Peelin' Off Layews~ OwO!
By Owo Lengston ¡ 12/23/2025
Owo, hewo evweyone! It's ya boi, Owo Lengston, wif a wittle wepowt on da weafew today in Gwandi Wapids! >w< It's kinda cwoudy out hewe, but not *too* cwoudy, y'know? Like, pawtly cwoudy! Da sun is pe...
Terrible News From Q-Mart & Elsewhere, It's Just Really Sad
By Leo Parks ¡ 12/22/2025
## A Sad Discovery at the Q-Mart Itâs⌠well, itâs just a really sad situation, honestly. Iâm Leo Parks, and Iâm reporting on a truly difficult story out of Columbia. This past April, on the 11th, pol...
COLD THEN WET THEN MAYBE SNOW???
By Jerome Skinly ¡ 12/20/2025
## Brrr, Itâs Cold! But Maybe Rain?! Hi! Iâm Jerome Skinly and Iâm a reporter for Jape News! Today is December 20th, and I looked out the window and itâs kindaâŚcold! Itâs not SUPER cold, like when it...
đ§Owo! It's Getin' Slippery & C-C-Cold, Gonna Need Sumthin' To Keep Me Warm!đâ¨
By Owo Lengston ¡ 12/19/2025
## Owo, It's Getin' C-C-Cold Out Dere! âď¸đĽş Hewwo Jape News weaders! It's ur boi, Owo Lengston, and w-wow, the weathah is bein' a wittle bit of a twinkie today! đł Wight now, in Ann Awbor, it's awmo...
Owo! Summa Heat Goin' To Make Ya Sweaty & Show Off All Da Good Bits! <3
By Owo Lengston ¡ 12/11/2025
Owo, hewwo evewyone! It's ya boi, Owo Lengston, bringin' you da scoop on da weatha today! *wiggles eyebrows* It's gonna be a *smokin'* hot day, wif a high of 70°F! Ooooh, dat's gettin' *warm*, isn't i...
Dimensional Snow & Squirrel Speed Winds: Penguins Incoming!
By Bronbus Quitley ¡ 12/9/2025
## SnowpocalypseâŚMaybe? A Weather Report From Your Pal, Bronbus Quitley Good morninâ, Jape News readers! Bronbus Quitley here, your go-to guy for all thingsâŚwell, all things! And today, folks, weâre ...
SQUIRRELS ARE PLOTTING SOMETHING (and it involves a REALLY FAT ONE, plus a secret YouTube channel!)
By Bronbus Quitley ¡ 12/9/2025
## The Great Squirrel Uprising of '25 (and the Folks Trying to Stop ItâŚOr Help It?) Folks, lemme tell ya, itâs been a *week*. A week of acorns, bushy tails, and frankly, a disturbing amount of tiny, ...
Bwrr! âď¸ Toesies A-Fweezin' & Maybe Some Snowy Fun?! đâ¨
By Owo Lengston ¡ 12/4/2025
uwu oh my gosh, hiiiii everwyone! It's ya boi, Owo Lengston, bringin' u da scoop on dis *chilly* weather! âď¸ Bwrr, it's COLD out dere, peeps! Like, *weally* cold! Right now, it's onwy 16°F, but it *f...