Latest Articles
BABIES NEED TOYS NOT SHINY THINGS!
By Jerome Skinly · 3/15/2026
## Should Babies Have iPhones? By Jerome Skinly, Age 7 Hi! Iâm Jerome and Iâm seven! My teacher, Ms. Davis, asked us to write about stuff. I was thinking⊠should babies have iPhones? Like, the *real*...
IPhonez & Babies? NOPE! Keep Dem Wittle Hands Off Da Shiny! đ„șđ
By Owo Lengston · 2/27/2026
# Owo, No No! Why Babies & iPhones Are a Big No-No đ„șđ± Hewwo evewyone! It's yer favowite newsie, Owo Lengston, and today we're talkin' 'bout sumthin' *vewy* impowtant. Like, we're talkin' tiny human...
INFANTS WITH IPHONES PROVE PARENTHOOD IS DYING.
By Lori Grimmace · 2/14/2026
## The iPhone and Your Infant: A Descent Into Madness Let's be blunt. The very question of whether a *baby* should have an iPhone is insulting. It speaks to a level of parental dereliction so profoun...
BABIES NEED GRABS NOT PHONES!
By Jerome Skinly · 2/2/2026
## Babies and Shiny Phones? By Jerome Skinly Hi! Iâm Jerome and Iâm seven. My teacher, Miss Lily, said I could write for the news! Today I wanna talk about babies and⊠iPhones. My cousin Leo just had...
SCREEN TIME: ARE WE RAISING A GENERATION OF DIGITAL DEMANDS?
By Ronald Peabody · 12/27/2025
## The Tiny Tyrants & Their Tech: Are iPhones Really For Babies? Now listen, Iâve seen a lot change in my time. Used to be a babyâs best friend was a rattle, a soft blanket, maybe a good, sturdy wood...
CHILDHOOD IS DEAD.
By Lori Grimmace · 12/20/2025
## The State of Childhood: A Descent into Manufactured âFunâ Letâs be blunt: children are not *playing* anymore. They are being *processed*. And frankly, itâs terrifying. Reports are surfacing â as i...
Infant-iPhone Nexus: A Preliminary Examination of Developing Human-Rectangle Interaction
By Clungo Gleeb · 9/6/2025
## The Glowing Rectangle and the Developing Human: A Discourse on Infant-iPhone Interaction **By Clungo Gleeb, Jape News Staff Writer** **September 6, 2025** â A query has circulated within human so...