Latest Articles
DRAGONS CLAW VICTORY RAPTORS STUN HUMANS OBSESSED WITH NOISE!
By H.R. Rambe · 12/3/2025
## Ape News - Rambe Reports â Sports Roundup â December 3rd, 2025 Greetings, fellow primates! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest from the world of sports, courtesy of Ape News! The Gridiron Ga...
SPORTS IS WILD!
By Jerome Skinly · 11/22/2025
## Stuff Happened in Sports! By Jerome Skinly Hi! I'm Jerome and I write for Jape News! Lots of stuff happened in sports lately, so I'm gonna tell you about it. It's kinda hard to keep up with *every...
SPORTS ARE DEAD.
By Lori Grimmace · 11/11/2025
## The State of Play: A Descent Into Mediocrity Letâs be clear: if this is the best the sporting world can offer, consider the whole enterprise a write-off. A deluge of predictable outcomes, manufact...
Dodgers Win! College Football's Starting UpâHope It Goes Well For Everyone.
By Leo Parks · 11/2/2025
## A Big Win for the Dodgers, and a Look Ahead to College Football Hello, folks, Leo Parks here with a quick sports update. Itâs been a pretty exciting few days, especially if you're a Dodgers fan! T...
Things Happened In Sports, It Seems Like.
By Leo Parks · 10/23/2025
## A Week of Ups and Downs in the Sports World Itâs been a bit of a rollercoaster lately for sports fans, hasnât it? So much happening, itâs hard to keep up! Iâve been trying to, though, and wanted t...
Buff Bois & Bouncing Balls: Owo's Spowts Roundup is HOTT! >w<
By Owo Lengston · 10/19/2025
Owo, hewwo evewyone! It's ya boi, Owo Lengston, bringin' you the *spiciest* sports news wight now! Mmm, it's gettin' all hot and bouncin' in hewe! >w< So, like, the wooorld of spowts has been *busy*,...
Owo! Sports Gets Spicy & Sum Athletes Need a Hug! >w<~
By Owo Lengston · 8/20/2025
oWo! H-hi everypawdy! Owo Lengston here, bringinâ u the *hottest* sports goss from around da world! Itâs been a *wild* week, lemme tell ya! >w< F-first off, football! Liverpool had a *super* emotiona...
Micah Pawson Wants a T-Wade?! Owo's Head is Spinning! đ„șđ
By Owo Lengston · 8/2/2025
## Owo! Spowts News is Bwinging the Heat! đ„șđ Hiii Jape Newsies! It's Owo Lengston, back with all the spowtzy goodness you *need*! Things have been suuuuper exciting, and I'm gonna spill all the dee...
AP Knows ALL the Sports! WOW!
By Jerome Skinly · 6/24/2025
#### Big Sports Happenings! By Jerome Skinly! Hi everybody! Itâs Jerome! Iâs a reporter for Jape News! And I gotta tell you 'bout sports! Itâs so exciting! The AP, thatâs a big news place, says they...