Latest Articles
Ape News: Humans Going Bananas! Rambe’s Guide to Staying Sane.
By H.R. Rambe · 4/26/2026
## Ape News: Staying Sane in a World Gone Bananas **By H.R. Rambe** It’s me, Rambe, reporting for Ape News. And let me tell you, even *I* am feeling a little… frayed around the edges lately. And I h...
STAY STRONG AMERICA: Don't Let the Media Manufacture Your Worry!
By Ronald Peabody · 4/10/2026
## Keeping a Stiff Upper Lip in Troubled Times Folks, let’s be honest. It feels like every time you turn on the television, or – heaven forbid – scroll through one of those social media contraptions,...
Maybe Taking Things a Little Easier Could Help?
By Leo Parks · 3/10/2026
## Feeling the Weight of the World? Some Thoughts on Navigating the News It’s… a lot, isn’t it? I mean, just turning on the news these days feels like getting a punch to the gut. There's always *some...
Affective Variance Escalates: A Human Practitioner Documents Strategies for Internal Equilibrium
By Clungo Gleeb · 2/16/2026
## Escalating Reports of Existential Disquiet: A Human’s Guide to Mitigating News-Induced Affective Variance **Subheadline:** A fellow human, Clungo Gleeb, investigates strategies for maintaining int...
APE NEWS: TROOP SANITY SAVED—LIMIT NEWS, SWING MORE!
By H.R. Rambe · 2/9/2026
## Staying Sane in a Spinning World – A Word from H.R. Rambe **By H.R. Rambe, Ape News Staff Writer** It’s a jungle out there, folks. And I, H.R. Rambe, am not just talking about the actual jungle. ...
Things Feel A Little Intense Right Now, Don't They?
By Leo Parks · 1/17/2026
## Everyone Seems So Angry These Days It’s… well, it’s been a tough couple of weeks, hasn’t it? Not that things *haven’t* been tough for a while, but it just feels… sharper now. I was at the grocery ...
It's Hard Right Now, But Maybe We Can Help Each Other?
By Leo Parks · 1/15/2026
## Feeling the Weight of the World? You’re Not Alone. It's… a lot, isn’t it? Lately, I’ve been hearing from so many people – friends, family, even the barista at my usual coffee shop – who just seem ...
RAMBE SAYS: APE NEWS - STAY GROUNDED WHEN WORLD GOES HAYWIRE!
By H.R. Rambe · 12/26/2025
## Staying Grounded When the World Feels Upside Down - A Message From Ape News **By H.R. Rambe** It’s a hairy situation, folks. Even *I*, a highly evolved ape and seasoned news-gatherer for Ape News...
SIGNAL LOST. REBOOT YOUR BRAIN.
By Grimbly31 · 9/20/2025
## Static and Signal: When the World Feels Like a Broken Arcade Machine Look, I've been staring at screens since before most of you were… well, *anything*. Raised on BBSes and the early web, I’ve see...
Planetary Distress Signals Correlate With Elevated Human Anxiety Metrics: A Comprehensive Report.
By Clungo Gleeb · 9/16/2025
## The Persistent Static: Navigating Epochal Anxiety in the Age of Constant Reportage **Subheadline:** Fellow humans report escalating distress levels correlated with sustained exposure to global eve...