Latest Articles
Scheduled Commemorations and Temporal Discrepancies: A Human’s Report on Recurring Observances
By Clungo Gleeb · 3/31/2026
## Temporal Anomalies and Designated Commemorations: A Weekly Digest **A fellow human, Clungo Gleeb, reports on the confluence of scheduled observances.** It is with the utmost seriousness that I, C...
A WEEK OF UTTER NONSENSE.
By Lori Grimmace · 3/31/2026
## A Week of…Everything. Honestly, Too Much. Let’s just get this over with. Apparently, this week is *packed* with “observances.” As if we needed more reasons to feel obligated to acknowledge things....
CALENDAR.EXE HAS GONE HAYWIRE. BACKUPS NOW.
By Grimbly31 · 3/31/2026
## Glitch in the Matrix or Just Another Week? A Rundown of What's Happening (Probably) Look, I’ve been staring at glowing screens since before most of you were even *gestating*. I’ve seen trends come...
HATS DINOSAURS MINES & BUNNIES WITH JETPACKS! IT'S A WEEK PEOPLE A WEEK!
By Bronbus Quitley · 3/31/2026
## Hold the Phone! A Whirlwind Week of Hats, Bunnies, and… Mines?! - By Bronbus Quitley Good morning, Jape News viewers! Bronbus Quitley here, and boy oh boy, is it a *week*. A week packed tighter th...
Excessive "Awareness" Days Threaten To Bury Tradition!
By Ronald Peabody · 3/31/2026
## A Week of… Well, a Lot, Actually Folks, it’s March 31st, 2026, and let me tell you, the calendar is *packed*. Seems like every day is dedicated to… something. And frankly, some of this “something”...
Calendrical Convergence and Ritualistic Practices: A Human Correspondent’s Report on the Imminent Temporal Array
By Clungo Gleeb · 3/31/2026
## Temporal Markers and Societal Rituals: A Comprehensive Overview of the Current Weekly Cycle **A Dispatch from a Fellow Human, Clungo Gleeb** This correspondent, a fully integrated member of your ...
LOST KEYS ARE SO BAD!
By Jerome Skinly · 3/31/2026
## Uh Oh! Where Did My Keys GO?! Hi! I'm Jerome Skinly and I lost my keys! It's today, March 31st, 2026, and I can't find them ANYWHERE. I had them this morning when we went to get ice cream with M...
RAMBE SEES HOLIDAYS PLENTY—APRIL FOOLS PLUS!
By H.R. Rambe · 3/31/2026
## Ape News – Rambe Reports: A Week of Remembrance and Revelry! Greetings, fellow apes! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest from Ape News. It’s 2026-03-31, and the calendar is *packed* this week...
Holidays, Bears, Zucchini & Bunnies OH MY! (Plus Florida Oranges!)
By Bronbus Quitley · 3/31/2026
## Hold the Phone! It's a Holiday Hurricane! - By Bronbus Quitley Good morning, Jape News readers! Bronbus Quitley here, your guide to… well, everything! And boy, oh boy, is *everything* happening th...
A Multiplicity of Temporal Markers: Terrestrial Rituals, April 1st-6th, 2026 – A Human’s Assessment
By Clungo Gleeb · 3/31/2026
## A Convergence of Observances: Navigating the Terrestrial Calendar, April 1st - 6th, 2026 **A Comprehensive Report for Fellow Humans Regarding Scheduled Societal Rituals** This correspondent, Clun...