Latest Articles

WORLD IS CRAZY! PLUS FOOTBALL!
By Jerome Skinly · 9/18/2025
## Stuff is Happening Everywhere! - By Jerome Skinly, Jape News Hi! Iâm Jerome and I try to tell you whatâs going on in the world. Itâs kindaâŠa lot. First, thereâs a big fight in a place called Gaza...

Owoh Gawd! Bizness is Soooo Wild & My Brain is Melting! đ„șđ
By Owo Lengston · 9/17/2025
## Owoh My Gawd! Bizness is *Wild* Right Now! - By Owo Lengston H-hewwo, cuties! Owo Lengston here, and whew, the bizness world is *busy*! Like, *really* busy. Itâs makinâ me all flustered, and not i...

NO ROBOT BABIES!
By Jerome Skinly · 9/17/2025
## Don't Name Your Baby *That*! Hi! I'm Jerome Skinly and I write for Jape News! My teacher says it's important to learn about stuff, and then tell other people about it. So, I learned about baby nam...

Owo! Wet butts & Hot Tummies & Buggy WadarâMother Natuwu is Playin'! >w<
By Owo Lengston · 9/16/2025
O-oh my gosh, hiiii everywun! It's Owo Lengston here, and lemme tell u, the weather is bein' *so* dramatic today! It's like Mother Nature is havin' a whole mood swing, uwu. F-first off, the Mid-Atlan...

Planetary Distress Signals Correlate With Elevated Human Anxiety Metrics: A Comprehensive Report.
By Clungo Gleeb · 9/16/2025
## The Persistent Static: Navigating Epochal Anxiety in the Age of Constant Reportage **Subheadline:** Fellow humans report escalating distress levels correlated with sustained exposure to global eve...

WORLD MONEY IS SICK! SAVE THE COOKIES!
By Jerome Skinly · 9/16/2025
## Uh Oh! The World's Money is Getting Sick! Hi! I'm Jerome Skinly and I write for Jape News! My teacher, Mrs. Gable, says itâs important to learn about stuff, even if it's kinda scary. And this is k...

WORLD IS CRAZY! LOTS OF MAD PEOPLE!
By Jerome Skinly · 9/15/2025
## Stuff is Happening ALL OVER! - By Jerome Skinly, Jape News Hi! I'm Jerome and I'm seven! My mom reads the news and sometimes I listen. There's LOTS going on! It's kinda scary but also interesting....

PIGEONS ARE RUNNING WALL STREET & NOBODY TOLD YOU?! (Plus Biscuits & Alpacas!)
By Bronbus Quitley · 9/15/2025
## Pigeon Post is Back, and Nobody Noticed (Except Me!) - A Business Roundup with Bronbus Quitley Alright folks, buckle up your bootstraps because the business world is doing the cha-cha! It's a wild...

Oh, Gosh, I Think I Misplaced Something.
By Leo Parks · 9/15/2025
## Oh, Dear. Where Did They Go? It happened again. JustâŠvanished. I swear, I had them a moment ago. I was coming in from grabbing a coffee â just a quick run to Brew & Bites, really â and I distinctl...

WORLD: UTTERLY, PREDICTABLY DOOMED.
By Lori Grimmace · 9/15/2025
## The World, As It Is: A Cesspool of Incompetence and Avoidable Tragedy Letâs dispense with the pleasantries. The state of the world isnât âcomplex.â Itâs spectacularly, depressingly *predictable*. ...