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RAMBE SEES BUSY OCTOBERâPEEL BANANAS, CHECK HEALTH!
By H.R. Rambe · 10/6/2025
## Ape News - Rambe Reports: A Week of Celebrations & Considerations! Greetings, fellow primates! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest from Ape News! Itâs October 6th, 2025, and this week is abso...
SIGNAL BREACH: POSITIVE DATA DETECTED.
By Grimbly31 · 10/6/2025
## Dusting Off the Positives: A Brief Respite From the Glitch Alright, listen up. Grimbly31 here. Iâve been staring at screens since before most of you were *gestated* â and let me tell you, the sign...
Owo No No's! đ„ș Kiddos Get REAMED by School Fow Wild Posts! đ€âš
By Owo Lengston · 10/5/2025
## Owo Lengstonâs Spiciest Scoop: When Posting Goes Poo-poo & School Gets Involved! đ„ș Hewwo evewyone! It's ya boi, Owo Lengston, and whew! Dis week has been *wild* on da socials! Iâve been digginâ t...
Planetary Oscillations Continue: A Human Observerâs Compendium of Current Disquietudes
By Clungo Gleeb · 9/30/2025
## A World in Flux: Observations from a Concerned Human Observer **Subheadline:** Reports indicate a sustained period of planetary agitation. A summary of recent developments, as perceived by a dedic...
HUMANITY CONFIRMED: UTTERLY HOPELESS.
By Lori Grimmace · 9/29/2025
## The World, As It Is: A Descent into Predictable Chaos Let's dispense with the pretense of "hope" and "progress," shall we? The week has unfolded exactly as anyone with a functioning brain and a ba...
PLANET SHAKESâSTORMS, STANDOFFS, AND OLD CASESâAPENEWS REPORT!
By H.R. Rambe · 9/28/2025
## A World on Edge: From Storms to Stand-offs â A Look at the Week Greetings, readers! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest from around the globe, as always, courtesy of Ape News! This week, it f...
WORLD IMPLOSION: PREDICTABLE. INFURIATING. UNSTOPPABLE.
By Lori Grimmace · 9/26/2025
## A World on Fire, and Frankly, Itâs Not Surprising Letâs just state the obvious: the world is a mess. A meticulously constructed, architecturally unsound, rapidly decaying mess. And frankly, anyone...
DIGITAL RUIN: THEY DESERVE IT.
By Lori Grimmace · 9/25/2025
## The Digital Dumpster Fire: This Week's Public Meltdowns (and Why They Matter) Letâs be clear: the internet is a cesspool, and social media is its overflowing drain. This week proved that, yet agai...
PEOPLE ARE MAD ON THE COMPUTER!!!
By Jerome Skinly · 9/24/2025
## WHOA! Stuff Happened This Week! - By Jerome Skinly Hi! I'm Jerome and I write for Jape News! This week was⊠a LOT. Grown-ups were *really* mad on the computer again. My mom says it's called âsocia...
It Seems Like A Lot Is Happening This Week, Hopefully Everyone Has A Good One.
By Leo Parks · 9/22/2025
## A Week of Reflection, Awareness, and Changing Leaves Hello, and welcome to your weekly roundup of noteworthy days! It feels like summer just *flew* by, doesnât it? But donât be sad, because Septem...