Latest Articles
Late March Freeze: Another Excuse to Complain?
By Ronald Peabody · 3/24/2026
## A Chill in the Air, But Hope on the Horizon for Grand Rapids Folks, let’s talk about the weather. Not the kind of weather we *want* to talk about, mind you – the kind that reminds you winter isn’t...
Chica-go & Gwand Wapids Awe Fweezing, But Maybe Find A Snuggle Buddy To Keep Ya Toasty! 😉☀️🌬️
By Owo Lengston · 3/24/2026
Owo, guwd mowning evewyone! It's ya boi, Owo Lengston, wif da weathah update! ☀️ It's a supe c-c-cold day out dere, especiawwy if you'we in Chica-go ow Gwand Wapids! Both cities awe wockin' a high of...
It's A Little Cold Today, But It's Getting Better Soon, Hopefully
By Leo Parks · 3/24/2026
## A Bit Chilly Out There, Folks Good morning, Grand Rapids! Or, well, good *almost* afternoon. It’s Leo Parks here, and honestly? It’s a little nippy. I just popped outside and, yep, definitely snow...
TRADITIONAL WINTERS UNDER SIEGE: IS PROGRESS THREATENING OUR WAY OF LIFE?
By Ronald Peabody · 3/24/2026
## Unseasonable Warmth: Are We Trading Snow for Showers Too Early? Folks, I’m looking out my window here at Jape News headquarters and frankly, it feels more like April than late March. Now, I’m not ...
Robots Are Hard, Apparently—Maybe Laundry First?
By Leo Parks · 3/24/2026
## So, About Those Robots… Where Are They? Okay, so everyone keeps asking me – and honestly, I get asked a *lot* because I, uh, cover tech – when are we gonna have those cool robots running around do...
TOAST. PIGEONS. BREAK EVERYTHING. THE KIDS REMEMBER.
By Grimbly31 · 3/24/2026
## Dusting Off the Pixel Bin: What the Kids Are Clicking On (According to an Old Man) Look, I’ve been online since the dial-up days. Seriously. I practically *was* raised by packet loss and Geocities...
Ape News: Planet Bee Rugs – Youngsters Will Go Buzzing!
By H.R. Rambe · 3/24/2026
## Buzzworthy New Rugs Bloom at Lorena Canals **By H.R. Rambe, Ape News Staff Writer** Little ones are about to get a lesson in lovely landscapes – and a comfy place to play! Lorena Canals has launc...
Owo! Newgwounds Memes Made Me Blush & Wiggle My Hips! 🥵💖
By Owo Lengston · 3/24/2026
## Owo, Remembew Those Old Newgwounds Times? 🥺 Hewwo evwyone! It's ya boi, Owo Lengston, and today we're takin' a wittle twip down memowy wane! A wane filled with… *ahem*… questionable animation, ca...
CONTAINER CHAOS + TAX SEASON TARGETS = SAME OLD SHIT, NEW FORMAT
By Grimbly31 · 3/23/2026
## Dusting Off the Old Tools, Again Look, I’ve been staring at glowing screens since before most of you were a gleam in your parents’ eyes. Raised on BBSes and the early web, I’ve seen security “cris...
HOLIDAY OBSCURITY: A COMPLETE WASTE.
By Lori Grimmace · 3/23/2026
## This Week's "Holidays": A Descent Into Absurdity Oh, joy. Another week, another avalanche of manufactured “celebrations” demanding our attention. As if actual, significant events weren’t scarce en...