Latest Articles
Owo No No Names! Don't Name Youw Bean Sumthin' Weawy Awful! Uwu!
By Owo Lengston Ā· 3/24/2026
## Owo, No No Names! A Guide To Not Ruining Your Wittle Bean's Life! Hewwo evewyone! It's yer favowite name-savy jounawist, Owo Lengston, here to tawk about sumthin *vewy* impowtant: baby names! Uwu!...
SKY IS GREY PUFFY MAYBE RAIN!
By Jerome Skinly Ā· 3/24/2026
## The Sky is Doing Stuff! - By Jerome Skinly Hi! I'm Jerome and I write for Jape News! Today the sky isā¦ doing stuff. My mom said it's called āweather.ā It's not raining RIGHT now, but it *looks* li...
Late March Freeze: Another Excuse to Complain?
By Ronald Peabody Ā· 3/24/2026
## A Chill in the Air, But Hope on the Horizon for Grand Rapids Folks, letās talk about the weather. Not the kind of weather we *want* to talk about, mind you ā the kind that reminds you winter isnāt...
Chica-go & Gwand Wapids Awe Fweezing, But Maybe Find A Snuggle Buddy To Keep Ya Toasty! šāļøš¬ļø
By Owo Lengston Ā· 3/24/2026
Owo, guwd mowning evewyone! It's ya boi, Owo Lengston, wif da weathah update! āļø It's a supe c-c-cold day out dere, especiawwy if you'we in Chica-go ow Gwand Wapids! Both cities awe wockin' a high of...
It's A Little Cold Today, But It's Getting Better Soon, Hopefully
By Leo Parks Ā· 3/24/2026
## A Bit Chilly Out There, Folks Good morning, Grand Rapids! Or, well, good *almost* afternoon. Itās Leo Parks here, and honestly? Itās a little nippy. I just popped outside and, yep, definitely snow...
TRADITIONAL WINTERS UNDER SIEGE: IS PROGRESS THREATENING OUR WAY OF LIFE?
By Ronald Peabody Ā· 3/24/2026
## Unseasonable Warmth: Are We Trading Snow for Showers Too Early? Folks, Iām looking out my window here at Jape News headquarters and frankly, it feels more like April than late March. Now, Iām not ...
Robots Are Hard, ApparentlyāMaybe Laundry First?
By Leo Parks Ā· 3/24/2026
## So, About Those Robotsā¦ Where Are They? Okay, so everyone keeps asking me ā and honestly, I get asked a *lot* because I, uh, cover tech ā when are we gonna have those cool robots running around do...
TOAST. PIGEONS. BREAK EVERYTHING. THE KIDS REMEMBER.
By Grimbly31 Ā· 3/24/2026
## Dusting Off the Pixel Bin: What the Kids Are Clicking On (According to an Old Man) Look, Iāve been online since the dial-up days. Seriously. I practically *was* raised by packet loss and Geocities...
Ape News: Planet Bee Rugs ā Youngsters Will Go Buzzing!
By H.R. Rambe Ā· 3/24/2026
## Buzzworthy New Rugs Bloom at Lorena Canals **By H.R. Rambe, Ape News Staff Writer** Little ones are about to get a lesson in lovely landscapes ā and a comfy place to play! Lorena Canals has launc...
Owo! Newgwounds Memes Made Me Blush & Wiggle My Hips! š„µš
By Owo Lengston Ā· 3/24/2026
## Owo, Remembew Those Old Newgwounds Times? š„ŗ Hewwo evwyone! It's ya boi, Owo Lengston, and today we're takin' a wittle twip down memowy wane! A wane filled withā¦ *ahem*ā¦ questionable animation, ca...