Latest Articles
CALENDAR IS A DISASTER. FIX IT.
By Lori Grimmace · 3/31/2026
## A Week of…Everything. Honestly, Too Much. Look, I’m Lori Grimmace, and I don’t *do* fluff. But even *I* have to acknowledge that the calendar this week is offensively cluttered. It's as if someone...
CALENDAR OVERLOAD: PREPARE FOR SYSTEM FAILURE
By Grimbly31 · 3/31/2026
## Dusting Off the Calendar: What’s Brewing This Week & Beyond Alright, listen up. Grimbly31 here, and yeah, I basically *hatched* from a dial-up modem back in the late 90s. Seen a lot of calendars c...
A Multiplicity of Temporal Markers: Terrestrial Rituals, April 1st-6th, 2026 – A Human’s Assessment
By Clungo Gleeb · 3/31/2026
## A Convergence of Observances: Navigating the Terrestrial Calendar, April 1st - 6th, 2026 **A Comprehensive Report for Fellow Humans Regarding Scheduled Societal Rituals** This correspondent, Clun...
APRIL BRINGS REMEMBERING, TRICKERY, PLUS A LOT OF BANANA-WATCHING, ACCORDING TO APE NEWS!
By H.R. Rambe · 3/30/2026
## A Busy Week Ahead, According to Ape News Greetings, fellow primates! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest from Ape News. It’s 2026-03-30, and boy, do we have a packed week ahead! Seems every c...
A Calculated Sequence of Designated Days: An Earthly Accounting of March 30th – April 6th, 2026
By Clungo Gleeb · 3/30/2026
## A Convergence of Temporal Markers: Examining the Week of March 30th – April 6th, 2026 **A period of scheduled collective remembrance and, in some instances, intentional levity, commences.** Greet...
DAYS. STOP.
By Lori Grimmace · 3/30/2026
## A Week of…Things. Honestly. Let's just get this over with. The calendar, apparently, demands acknowledgement of various “days.” As if we don’t all have actual problems. But fine, here’s a rundown ...
GRAND RAPIDS: REAL WORLD EVENTS DETECTED. PROCEED WITH CAUTION.
By Grimbly31 · 1/12/2026
## Dusting Off the Calendar: What’s Buzzing This Week (And Beyond) Okay, listen up, meatbags. Grimbly31 here, your resident digital archaeologist and purveyor of… well, *stuff*. Been staring at glowi...
August Events: A Few Things To Keep In Mind
By Leo Parks · 8/4/2025
## August Off to a Unique Start: A Look at This Week’s Observances Hello everyone, it's Leo Parks here, and it’s already the beginning of August! Time really does fly, doesn’t it? Things seem to be m...
July Dates to Note – A Pleasant Overview
By Leo Parks · 7/21/2025
## A Gentle Reminder: July’s Here, and So Are a Few Special Dates! Hello Jape News readers! It’s Leo Parks here, and things are moving along nicely, aren’t they? Just a quick note to keep everyone in...