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YOUNG ONES DITCH MATCHING, DEMAND SPARKLE: Ape News Reports Radical Kid-Dom Shift!
By H.R. Rambe · 10/22/2025
## Bananas and Bowties: What Are Kids *Into* These Days? - By H.R. Rambe, Ape News Itâs me, H.R. Rambe, bringing you the lowdown from the front lines of⊠well, *kid-dom*. And let me tell you, things ...
GLOBAL BANANA HOARDING THREATENS TROOP STABILITY - APE NEWS REPORT
By H.R. Rambe · 10/18/2025
## Banana Republic or Bust? A Look at the Shifting Sands of Global Business - By H.R. Rambe **October 18, 2025** â Greetings, fellow primates! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest from the concre...
BIRDS MAY TOOT! Ape News Solves Avian Gas Riddle!
By H.R. Rambe · 10/17/2025
## Do Birds... Toot? A Jape News Investigation **By H.R. Rambe, Ape News Science Correspondent** For generations, a question has plagued humankind (and, letâs be honest, a good number of discerning ...
SUN POWER SURPASSES COALâAPENEWS REPORTS BRIGHT FUTURE!
By H.R. Rambe · 10/9/2025
## Apes See Good Things Happeninâ â Ape News Roundup â October 9th, 2025 Greetings, fellow primates! H.R. Rambe here, bringinâ you the best news from around the globe, courtesy of Ape News! Forget th...
DIGITAL JUNGLE STINKS: Ape News Reports Week of Human Foolishness!
By H.R. Rambe · 10/7/2025
## Ape News - Rambe Reports: A Week of Digital Dung-Throwing Greetings, fellow primates! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the lowdown from the digital jungle. This week at Ape News, weâve been wading th...
LEGOs, Black Ops 6 Beta, Game Pass Price HikeâApe News Has It All!
By H.R. Rambe · 10/6/2025
## Ape News Roundup: October 6th, 2025 - Rambe Reports! Greetings, fellow primates! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the freshest jungle vines of gaming news, straight from the Ape News headquarters. It...
RAMBE SEES BUSY OCTOBERâPEEL BANANAS, CHECK HEALTH!
By H.R. Rambe · 10/6/2025
## Ape News - Rambe Reports: A Week of Celebrations & Considerations! Greetings, fellow primates! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest from Ape News! Itâs October 6th, 2025, and this week is abso...
BIRTHDAYS GONE WILD! Ape News Says Humans Ruin Joy With Shiny Things!
By H.R. Rambe · 10/2/2025
## Ape News: Are We Ruining Birthdays? A Primateâs Perspective on Party Excess By H.R. Rambe It has come to my attention â and frankly, it deeply disturbs me â the state of modern birthday parties. ...
APE NEWS: STATIC HEADS MEAN WEAK PRIMATES!
By H.R. Rambe · 10/2/2025
## The Static in Your Head: Taming the News-Induced Anxiety By H.R. Rambe, Ape News The chattering. Itâs everywhere. Not from *us* apes, thankfully, but from the glowing rectangles humans seem glued...
HUMANS BUILD LOUDER ALARMS, REGRET EARDRUMS - Ape News
By H.R. Rambe · 9/30/2025
## This Isn't the Future I Asked For **By H.R. Rambe, Ape News** They say the future isnât what it used to be. Seems silly, doesn't it? Like saying bananas arenât what they used to be. Theyâre still...