Latest Articles
SOLAR FLARES AND SHADY FORECASTS: IS BIG WEATHER HIDING SOMETHING?
By Ronald Peabody · 3/30/2026
## A Chill in the Air and Signs From Above â Whatâs Really Going On With This Weather? Folks, letâs talk about the weather. Not just the temperature reading on the thermometer, but what it *means*. N...
MIDWEST UNDER ATTACK: Weather Service Enables Chaos!
By Ronald Peabody · 3/29/2026
## Chicago Under Siege: A Meteorological Assault Folks, Iâm here to tell you, this isnât just âweather.â This is an *attack*. A blatant disregard for a peaceful Sunday morning, and frankly, a bit sus...
OCTOPUS CULT THREATENS AMERICAN VALUES!
By Ronald Peabody · 3/28/2026
## The Rising Tide of Decadence andâŠSquid Worship? A Concerned Citizen Reports Folks, Iâve seen a lot in my years at Jape News. A lot. And I thought Iâd seen it all â the avocado toast craze, the you...
LIBERAL WEATHER MANIPULATION: ARE THEY TRYING TO FRY US?
By Ronald Peabody · 3/27/2026
## The Skies are FallingâŠOr Are They Just Warm? A Look at Todayâs Erratic Weather Folks, Iâm starting to think the liberals are tinkering with the thermostat again. Now, Iâm not saying climate change...
SQUIRRELS PLOTTING WORLD DOMINATIONâAUNT MILDRED WAS RIGHT (And Sprout Eating Champions!)
By Bronbus Quitley · 3/25/2026
## Bronbus Quitley Reports: Are We *Really* Saving the Squirrels? (And Why My Aunt Mildred Hates Them) Folks, let me tell you, Iâve been *deep* down the rabbit hole â or should I say, the squirrel ho...
BIRD GAS: Is the Left Covering Up a Silent Threat to America?
By Ronald Peabody · 3/21/2026
## A Silent Threat to National Security? The Truth About Bird Flatulence Folks, Iâve been reporting on the issues that *matter* for Jape News for a long time now, and I thought Iâd seen it all. But t...
SQUIRRELS ARE DATA MINING YOU, WAKE UP SHEEPLE.
By Grimbly31 · 3/19/2026
## They Were Always Watching, Man. Always. Look, Iâve been online since before most of you were *gestating*. I remember warez boards, BBSes, the whole nine yards. We used to talk about surveillance s...
PIGEONS NOEM & THE ZUCCHINI APOCALYPSEâI KNEW IT!
By Bronbus Quitley · 3/7/2026
## The Great Pigeon Conspiracy and Why Kristi Noem is Totally Involved (Probably) By Bronbus Quitley, Jape News - March 7th, 2026 Folks, let me tell you, things are *wild* out there. And itâs not ju...
CLOWNCODE: THEY WERE ALWAYS WATCHING.
By Grimbly31 · 2/7/2026
## They Were Always Watching: A History of the Honkers Okay, so look. You youngâuns think clowns are just⊠birthday parties, right? Red noses, balloon animals, maybe a slightly unsettling vibe if you...
Ancient Evil Mirrors Modern Decay: Is âCthulhuâ a Leftist Plot?
By Ronald Peabody · 9/3/2025
## The Rising Tide and the Erosion of Tradition: Is âCthulhuâ a Warning From the Deep? Folks, Iâve been doing some research. Important research. And frankly, what Iâve uncovered is deeply unsettling....