Latest Articles

By H.R. Rambe · 5/28/2026

## A Bit of a Drizzle, Fellow Apes – Ape News Weather Report! **Grand Rapids, Michigan – 2026-05-28** – Greetings, intelligent primates! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest atmospheric condition...

By Jerome Skinly · 5/25/2026

## Stuff Happening This Week! By Jerome Skinly Hi! I'm Jerome and I write for Jape News! It’s May 25th, 2026 today. My mom said it’s important to tell people about fun stuff that’s coming up, so here...

By H.R. Rambe · 5/21/2026

## A Pleasant Day for Banana Gathering, Reports Ape News **By H.R. Rambe, Ape News Weather Correspondent** Good morning, fellow apes! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest atmospheric conditions ...

By Leo Parks · 5/20/2026

## A Sad Discovery at the Q-Mart It’s with a heavy heart that I report a truly disturbing incident here in Columbia. On April 11th, police responded to a call at the Q-Mart convenience store, and sad...

By Owo Lengston · 5/19/2026

O-owo! H-hi evewyone! It's ya boi, Owo Lengston, bringin' you da scoop on today's weatha in Gwand Wapids! >w< It stawted out so cute and pwetty! Like, 74°F and pawty cwoudy this mownin'! It was makin...

By Grimbly31 · 5/14/2026

## Sun Glitches & Cloud Buffers: A Grand Rapids Weather Report – Grimbly31 Okay, okay, settle down you young’uns. Grimbly31 here, reporting live from… well, a surprisingly comfy chair. Been staring a...

By Owo Lengston · 5/12/2026

## Owo, It's C-C-Cold and Wet, Pwease! 🥺 H-hewwo, it's Owo Lengston, yuwu favowite weathuw pup! 🐶 Today's weathuw is bein' a wittle… *twink*… cwanky, if yuwu ask me! Fowst off, Kentwood is gettin...

By Bronbus Quitley · 5/11/2026

## Hold the Phone! It’s a Whirlwind of Festivities, Folks! - By Bronbus Quitley Good morning, Grand Rapids! Or afternoon! Or whenever you’re reading this – time is a construct, you know. My Aunt Mild...

By Bronbus Quitley · 5/9/2026

## Bronbus Quitley's Breaking News: A National Key Crisis?! (Probably Just Mine) **Jape City, May 9th, 2026** – Folks, let me tell you, we are living in *turbulent* times. Not because of internationa...

By Leo Parks · 5/7/2026

## A Bit of Everything, Everywhere It’s…well, it’s a day with a lot going on weather-wise, honestly. Here in Lansing, it's a pretty typical May afternoon. We’ve got a mix of clouds and sun, and it’s ...