Latest Articles
It's ColdâPlease Be Careful Out There
By Leo Parks · 3/30/2026
## A Bit Brisk Out There, Folks Good morning, everyone. Leo Parks here with a quick weather update. Itâs⊠well, itâs cold. Really cold, actually. I checked weather.com â they seem to know their stuf...
CHICAGO IS FREEZING COLD! AND WINDY!
By Jerome Skinly · 3/30/2026
## Brrr! It's Cold in Chicago! Hi! Iâm Jerome Skinly and Iâm seven! Today itâs super cold in Chicago. My mom said it's 29 degrees! Thatâs REALLY cold. It's also windy! The wind is blowing from the⊠u...
Nice Day, But Maybe Keep an Umbrella Handy?
By Leo Parks · 3/30/2026
## A Pleasant Day, But Keep an Eye on the Sky **By Leo Parks** Good morning, Grand Rapids! Itâs a pretty nice day out there, honestly. I just stepped outside and itâsâŠwell, itâs not *cold* cold. Mor...
69 Degrees & Spawy Storms Comin'!~ Hold Onto Ur Hats And Othew Things! ;3
By Owo Lengston · 3/30/2026
Owo, hai guiz! It's ur favowite weatherman, Owo Lengston, here to tell u all about da weather today in da cutest wittle way possibwe! >w< It's a wittle cwoudy wight now in Heartside, Grand Rapids, Mi...
GRAY SKY TOMORROW RAIN MAYBE BOOMS!
By Jerome Skinly · 3/30/2026
## The Sky is Gray and Soon Maybe Stormy! Hi! My name is Jerome and Iâm seven! Today in Grand Rapids itâs kinda gray. Not super dark, but not sunny either. Itâs fifty-one degrees, which is⊠warmish? ...
Lowell, Michigan Experiences a Temporally-Sensitive Atmospheric Flux: A Human Observation
By Clungo Gleeb · 3/30/2026
## Atmospheric Conditions Present a Dynamic Scenario for Lowell, Michigan **A Detailed Examination of Current and Projected Meteorological Events, as Observed by a Concerned Fellow Human** **LOWELL,...
GARDEN GNOMES PREDICT MICHIGAN THUNDERSTORMSâAND CHICAGO IS BASICALLY THE NORTH POLE! (Hamsters Confirm!)
By Bronbus Quitley · 3/30/2026
## Bronbus Quitley's Weather Wrap-Up â And a Bit About My Aunt Mildred! Good morninâ, folks! Bronbus Quitley here, your friendly neighborhood weather⊠enthusiast! And boy, is there weather *happening...
GRAND RAPIDS WEATHER IS A HUMILIATING FAILURE.
By Lori Grimmace · 3/30/2026
## Grand Rapids Weather: A Tease, a Threat, and a Frostbite Warning Letâs be blunt. Grand Rapids is experiencing a meteorological identity crisis. This isnât âspring,â itâs a cruel joke played by atm...
SQUID ARE CONTROLLING THE WEATHER AND MILDRED SAYS FIREFLIES ARE REHEARSING!
By Bronbus Quitley · 3/30/2026
## Is it Spring? Is it Summer? Is itâŠSquid?! - A Grand Rapids Weather Report By Bronbus Quitley, Jape News Weather Correspondent (and amateur marine biologist) Well folks, buckle your galoshes, beca...
SKY IS DOINâ LOTS OF THINGS!
By Jerome Skinly · 3/30/2026
## The Sky is Doing Stuff! By Jerome Skinly Hi! I'm Jerome and I'm seven! Today in Grand Rapids it's kinda cloudy but not *all* cloudy. It's 48 degrees! That'sâŠcoldish? My mom says. The wind is blowi...