Latest Articles
Ape News: Ten Ways to Really Swing Down the Mountain!
By H.R. Rambe · 12/12/2025
## Shred the Powder: Ape News Presents the Top Ten Snowboarding Tricks! **By H.R. Rambe, Ape News Correspondent** Greetings, fellow primates! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest from the slopes...
ROBOTS ARE LEARNING LIKE ME!
By Jerome Skinly · 12/12/2025
## Robots Are Getting REALLY Smart! - By Jerome Skinly Hi! I'm Jerome, and I like robots! My dad says robots are getting super smart now, and it's not like in the movies *yet*, but it's getting close...
CTHULHU: AVOIDABLE NONSENSE.
By Lori Grimmace · 12/12/2025
## The Myth, The Madness, The Misunderstanding: A Thorough Dissection of the Cthulhu Cult Letâs be blunt: the fascination with this âCthulhuâ is profoundly irritating. Decades of amateur occultists, ...
Owo! Summa Heat Goin' To Make Ya Sweaty & Show Off All Da Good Bits! <3
By Owo Lengston · 12/11/2025
Owo, hewwo evewyone! It's ya boi, Owo Lengston, bringin' you da scoop on da weatha today! *wiggles eyebrows* It's gonna be a *smokin'* hot day, wif a high of 70°F! Ooooh, dat's gettin' *warm*, isn't i...
BAKING IS DEAD.
By Lori Grimmace · 12/11/2025
## The Descent into Gimmickry: When Baking Met Misguided Ambition Letâs be clear: the culinary world has officially jumped the shark. It wasnât enough to simply *bake* things, no. Now, apparently, we...
Giant Robots: Still a Bit Tricky, Apparently.
By Leo Parks · 12/10/2025
## Still Waiting on Those Giant Robots Itâs a question many of us have asked, probably since childhood: where are the giant robots? You see them in movies, dominating battlefields, and frankly, they ...
Dimensional Snow & Squirrel Speed Winds: Penguins Incoming!
By Bronbus Quitley · 12/9/2025
## SnowpocalypseâŠMaybe? A Weather Report From Your Pal, Bronbus Quitley Good morninâ, Jape News readers! Bronbus Quitley here, your go-to guy for all thingsâŠwell, all things! And today, folks, weâre ...
SHARE CLIP, FACE CLAWS! APE NEWS WARNS.
By H.R. Rambe · 12/9/2025
## Ape News - Rambe Reports - This Week's Juicy Bits â December 9th, 2025 Greetings, fellow primates! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the lowdown on whatâs got the digital jungle buzzing this week, cou...
ROBOTS ARE HARD!
By Jerome Skinly · 12/9/2025
## Why Don't I Have a Robot Helper Yet? Hi! I'm Jerome Skinly and I like robots! Everyone *says* weâre gonna have robots do all our chores, like fold laundry and take out the trash. ButâŠwe donât. Not...
KEYS ARE GONE!!!
By Jerome Skinly · 12/9/2025
## Oh No! Where Did They GO?! Hi! I'm Jerome Skinly and I'm seven! Today was a good day. I went to the park and swung SO high! Then we got ice cream! Chocolate with sprinkles! But⊠now⊠OH NO! I ca...