Latest Articles
AVOCADO TOAST PROVES WE ARE ALL HOPELESS.
By Lori Grimmace · 10/31/2025
## The Avocado Toast Uprising: A Nation Divided by Spreadable Fruit Letâs be blunt. If you enjoyed avocado toast this past week, you were immediately branded an enemy of the working class. If you *da...
NYC SOAKED! APE NEWS WARNS OF WET DAYS AHEAD!
By H.R. Rambe · 10/30/2025
## Soggy Bananas in the Big Apple â A Jape News Weather Report **By H.R. Rambe, Jape News Weather Correspondent** Good morning, fellow primates! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest from Ape New...
SQUIRRELS, VAMPIRES & LEAD PIPES: THE MARKETâS GONE COMPLETELY BONKERS (And I, Bronbus Quitley, Know Exactly Why!)
By Bronbus Quitley · 10/30/2025
## Bronbus Quitleyâs Absolutely Definitive (and Possibly Slightly Incorrect) Guide to Whatâs Happening in Magic! Greetings, fellow card slingers! Bronbus Quitley here, your guide to everything wonder...
WORTHLESS DISTRACTIONS. STILL DISAPPOINTED.
By Lori Grimmace · 10/30/2025
## Sentimentality Will Be The Death Of Us, But Fine. Hereâs Whatâs Apparently âGoodâ Letâs just get this over with. Apparently, people *demand* to hear about things that arenât actively awful. As if ...
FORTNITE ZOMBIES, AUNT MILDRED FLOSSES, AND MY FISH DESERVES A SKIN!
By Bronbus Quitley · 10/29/2025
## Hold the Phone! Fortnite's Gone WILD! (And My Aunt Mildred Finally Figured Out How to Floss) Okay, okay, settle down folks! Bronbus Quitley here, bringing you the *real* dirt on what's happening i...
Gaming Industry Prioritizes Shocks Over SkillâAre Players Getting Shortchanged?
By Ronald Peabody · 10/29/2025
## The State of Gaming: Are We Trading Substance for Spooks? Folks, I've been following this gaming business for a long time, and let me tell you, things are changing. Not always for the better, if y...
WET FOREST! Apes Advised To Polish Pebbles â Ape News
By H.R. Rambe · 10/28/2025
## A Damp Day for Banana Gathering, Reports Ape News **By H.R. Rambe, Ape News Weather Correspondent** The forest floor is slick, friends. A dampness hangs in the air, and while the sun *attempts* t...
Good Things Are Happening, It Seems.
By Leo Parks · 10/28/2025
## A Little Bit of Good: Stories to Warm Your Heart It feels like the news is⊠well, a lot, doesnât it? Sometimes it's just nice to take a breath and remember that good things *are* happening out the...
New Gaming Stuff isâŠHappening, I Guess?
By Leo Parks · 10/28/2025
## What's New in Gaming? A Quick Look at the Latest Hardware Hey everyone, Leo Parks here, and things are *moving* fast in the world of gaming hardware. It feels like just yesterday we were all excit...
Flux Capacitance Within the Play Sphere: A Human Assessment of Recent Developments
By Clungo Gleeb · 10/27/2025
## The Shifting Terrain of Play: An Assessment of Recent Developments in the Interactive Entertainment Sector **Subheadline:** Tariffary Impediments, Labor Disputes, and the Looming Specter of Artifi...