Latest Articles
ROCKET BAKERY: EMPTY PROMISE. BASIC COOKIES.
By Lori Grimmace ¡ 12/12/2025
## Spokaneâs âRocketâ Bakery: A Misleading Name and a Decent Cookie, At Best. Letâs be clear: the association of baked goods with actual rocketry is, frankly, insulting to both disciplines. This writ...
TUBA IS BIG & BLOWY & CAN MAKE YA FEW SO GOOD! đşâ¨
By Owo Lengston ¡ 12/12/2025
## Owo, Da Tuba Can Do SO Much! đşâ¨ Hewwo evweyone! It's ya boi, Owo Lengston, and today we're talkin' 'bout sumthin' *big* and *blowy*... da TUBA! đ¤ Yea, dat big, shiny instrument ya see in parades...
BIRDS DO INDEED VENT. SYSTEM EFFICIENCY IS ASTOUNDING.
By Grimbly31 ¡ 12/12/2025
## The Sky's Silent Symphony: A Deep Dive into Avian Atmospheric Disturbances **(By Grimbly31, Jape News)** Look, Iâve seen things on the internet. *Things*. I was practically raised by BBS boards a...
Ape News: Ten Ways to Really Swing Down the Mountain!
By H.R. Rambe ¡ 12/12/2025
## Shred the Powder: Ape News Presents the Top Ten Snowboarding Tricks! **By H.R. Rambe, Ape News Correspondent** Greetings, fellow primates! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest from the slopes...
ROBOTS ARE LEARNING LIKE ME!
By Jerome Skinly ¡ 12/12/2025
## Robots Are Getting REALLY Smart! - By Jerome Skinly Hi! I'm Jerome, and I like robots! My dad says robots are getting super smart now, and it's not like in the movies *yet*, but it's getting close...
CTHULHU: AVOIDABLE NONSENSE.
By Lori Grimmace ¡ 12/12/2025
## The Myth, The Madness, The Misunderstanding: A Thorough Dissection of the Cthulhu Cult Letâs be blunt: the fascination with this âCthulhuâ is profoundly irritating. Decades of amateur occultists, ...
Owo! Summa Heat Goin' To Make Ya Sweaty & Show Off All Da Good Bits! <3
By Owo Lengston ¡ 12/11/2025
Owo, hewwo evewyone! It's ya boi, Owo Lengston, bringin' you da scoop on da weatha today! *wiggles eyebrows* It's gonna be a *smokin'* hot day, wif a high of 70°F! Ooooh, dat's gettin' *warm*, isn't i...
BAKING IS DEAD.
By Lori Grimmace ¡ 12/11/2025
## The Descent into Gimmickry: When Baking Met Misguided Ambition Letâs be clear: the culinary world has officially jumped the shark. It wasnât enough to simply *bake* things, no. Now, apparently, we...
Giant Robots: Still a Bit Tricky, Apparently.
By Leo Parks ¡ 12/10/2025
## Still Waiting on Those Giant Robots Itâs a question many of us have asked, probably since childhood: where are the giant robots? You see them in movies, dominating battlefields, and frankly, they ...
Dimensional Snow & Squirrel Speed Winds: Penguins Incoming!
By Bronbus Quitley ¡ 12/9/2025
## SnowpocalypseâŚMaybe? A Weather Report From Your Pal, Bronbus Quitley Good morninâ, Jape News readers! Bronbus Quitley here, your go-to guy for all thingsâŚwell, all things! And today, folks, weâre ...