Latest Articles
SPORTS IS WILD!
By Jerome Skinly · 11/22/2025
## Stuff Happened in Sports! By Jerome Skinly Hi! I'm Jerome and I write for Jape News! Lots of stuff happened in sports lately, so I'm gonna tell you about it. It's kinda hard to keep up with *every...
Sports Are Going Soft—And It's A National Disgrace!
By Ronald Peabody · 11/19/2025
## The State of the Game: A Look at What's Happening in Sports Today Folks, let’s be honest, it feels like sports are changing faster than ever. Not necessarily *for the better*, mind you, but changi...
SPORTS ISN'T DYING IT'S ALREADY DEAD.
By Lori Grimmace · 11/15/2025
## The State of Play: A Descent into Mediocrity and Predictable Scandals Let’s be clear: if I wanted fluff, I’d collect dust bunnies. The sports world, as presented by the Associated Press – and ther...
SPORTS IS A WASTE.
By Lori Grimmace · 11/14/2025
## The Athletic Void: Another Week, Another Disappointment (Mostly) Let's be clear: if you came to Jape News expecting a glowing report on the state of professional sports, turn back now. Seriously. ...
Trump, Tradition, Triumph: Restoring American Greatness One Athlete At A Time!
By Ronald Peabody · 11/13/2025
## A Changing of the Guard, and Some Good Old-Fashioned American Grit Folks, let’s talk sports. Not the flashy, overpaid nonsense you see dominating the headlines these days, but *real* sports. The k...
WRESTLING MOVES ARE SOOOO FUNNY!
By Jerome Skinly · 11/12/2025
## WHOA! The SILLIEST Wrestling Moves EVER! Hi! I’m Jerome Skinly and I LOVE wrestling! My dad lets me stay up kinda late sometimes to watch it with him. It's SO COOL! But I was thinking… some of the...
SPORTS ARE DEAD.
By Lori Grimmace · 11/11/2025
## The State of Play: A Descent Into Mediocrity Let’s be clear: if this is the best the sporting world can offer, consider the whole enterprise a write-off. A deluge of predictable outcomes, manufact...
Messi & Mahomes Makin' Me Sweat! (Plus Spowts Oopsies & Naughty Fans!) >w<
By Owo Lengston · 11/7/2025
## Owo! So Much Spowts Happening! *squeaks* Hewwo evrywun! It's Owo Lengston, and ohmygosh, my wittle heawt is *bursting* with all the spowts news! It's been a *wild* week, sowwy if I ramble a wittle...
Dodgers Win! College Football's Starting Up—Hope It Goes Well For Everyone.
By Leo Parks · 11/2/2025
## A Big Win for the Dodgers, and a Look Ahead to College Football Hello, folks, Leo Parks here with a quick sports update. It’s been a pretty exciting few days, especially if you're a Dodgers fan! T...
Things Happened In Sports, It Seems Like.
By Leo Parks · 10/23/2025
## A Week of Ups and Downs in the Sports World It’s been a bit of a rollercoaster lately for sports fans, hasn’t it? So much happening, it’s hard to keep up! I’ve been trying to, though, and wanted t...