Latest Articles
BEE CARPETS ARE REAL!
By Jerome Skinly ¡ 12/14/2025
## Bee Carpets! By Jerome Skinly Hi! Iâm Jerome and I write for Jape News! Today I learned about⌠bee carpets! Not *made* of bees, donât worry! That would be sticky. These carpets have pictures of b...
Owo! Summa Heat Goin' To Make Ya Sweaty & Show Off All Da Good Bits! <3
By Owo Lengston ¡ 12/11/2025
Owo, hewwo evewyone! It's ya boi, Owo Lengston, bringin' you da scoop on da weatha today! *wiggles eyebrows* It's gonna be a *smokin'* hot day, wif a high of 70°F! Ooooh, dat's gettin' *warm*, isn't i...
Dimensional Snow & Squirrel Speed Winds: Penguins Incoming!
By Bronbus Quitley ¡ 12/9/2025
## SnowpocalypseâŚMaybe? A Weather Report From Your Pal, Bronbus Quitley Good morninâ, Jape News readers! Bronbus Quitley here, your go-to guy for all thingsâŚwell, all things! And today, folks, weâre ...
SNOW IS FALLING DOWN NOW!
By Jerome Skinly ¡ 12/9/2025
## Snow is Falling! Hi! I'm Jerome Skinly and I'm seven! Today the weather is kinda cold. My mom said it's 19 degrees, but I don't really know what that *means* except it's cold enough for snow! And...
Bwrr! âď¸ Toesies A-Fweezin' & Maybe Some Snowy Fun?! đâ¨
By Owo Lengston ¡ 12/4/2025
uwu oh my gosh, hiiiii everwyone! It's ya boi, Owo Lengston, bringin' u da scoop on dis *chilly* weather! âď¸ Bwrr, it's COLD out dere, peeps! Like, *weally* cold! Right now, it's onwy 16°F, but it *f...
SNOWFALL A STARK REMINDER: SELF-RELIANCE IS KEY!
By Ronald Peabody ¡ 12/2/2025
## A Chill Wind Blows â Are We Prepared? Grand Rapids woke up this morning not to a gentle snowfall, but to a *reminder*. A reminder of the harsh realities of a Michigan winter, and frankly, a remind...
Owo! GTA 6 Delayed Again & AI is Gettin' Naughty! >///<
By Owo Lengston ¡ 11/30/2025
## Owo! Gamin' News is *So* Wild Right Now! (uwu) Hewwo evrywun! Owo Lengston hewe, and whew, my wittle paws awe *twitching* with awl the gamin' news dat's been happenin'! It's been a *busyyyy* week,...
Just A Bit Chilly, Folks, Maybe Some Snow Later
By Leo Parks ¡ 11/27/2025
## A Chilly Day in Grandville Good morning, everyone. This is Leo Parks, reporting for Jape News. Well, itâs definitely November in Michigan, isnât it? I stepped outside this morning and, brr, it wa...
NOVEMBER IS A DISGRACE.
By Lori Grimmace ¡ 11/25/2025
## Another November Day, Another Miserable Mess Letâs just state the obvious: November is actively *trying* to ruin our lives. And succeeding. As of this afternoon, November 25th, 2025, we're wading ...
It's Damp Out There, But We'll Get Through It
By Leo Parks ¡ 11/20/2025
## A Gray Day in Grand Rapids Good morning, folks, Leo Parks here. Well, itâsâŚdrizzly out there. Really drizzly. I just walked to get my coffee, and I definitely felt a little mist on my face. Not a ...