Latest Articles
COLD THEN WET THEN MAYBE SNOW???
By Jerome Skinly ¡ 12/20/2025
## Brrr, Itâs Cold! But Maybe Rain?! Hi! Iâm Jerome Skinly and Iâm a reporter for Jape News! Today is December 20th, and I looked out the window and itâs kindaâŚcold! Itâs not SUPER cold, like when it...
đ§Owo! It's Getin' Slippery & C-C-Cold, Gonna Need Sumthin' To Keep Me Warm!đâ¨
By Owo Lengston ¡ 12/19/2025
## Owo, It's Getin' C-C-Cold Out Dere! âď¸đĽş Hewwo Jape News weaders! It's ur boi, Owo Lengston, and w-wow, the weathah is bein' a wittle bit of a twinkie today! đł Wight now, in Ann Awbor, it's awmo...
ROCKET BAKERY: EMPTY PROMISE. BASIC COOKIES.
By Lori Grimmace ¡ 12/12/2025
## Spokaneâs âRocketâ Bakery: A Misleading Name and a Decent Cookie, At Best. Letâs be clear: the association of baked goods with actual rocketry is, frankly, insulting to both disciplines. This writ...
Owo! Summa Heat Goin' To Make Ya Sweaty & Show Off All Da Good Bits! <3
By Owo Lengston ¡ 12/11/2025
Owo, hewwo evewyone! It's ya boi, Owo Lengston, bringin' you da scoop on da weatha today! *wiggles eyebrows* It's gonna be a *smokin'* hot day, wif a high of 70°F! Ooooh, dat's gettin' *warm*, isn't i...
Dimensional Snow & Squirrel Speed Winds: Penguins Incoming!
By Bronbus Quitley ¡ 12/9/2025
## SnowpocalypseâŚMaybe? A Weather Report From Your Pal, Bronbus Quitley Good morninâ, Jape News readers! Bronbus Quitley here, your go-to guy for all thingsâŚwell, all things! And today, folks, weâre ...
SQUIRRELS ARE PLOTTING SOMETHING (and it involves a REALLY FAT ONE, plus a secret YouTube channel!)
By Bronbus Quitley ¡ 12/9/2025
## The Great Squirrel Uprising of '25 (and the Folks Trying to Stop ItâŚOr Help It?) Folks, lemme tell ya, itâs been a *week*. A week of acorns, bushy tails, and frankly, a disturbing amount of tiny, ...
Bwrr! âď¸ Toesies A-Fweezin' & Maybe Some Snowy Fun?! đâ¨
By Owo Lengston ¡ 12/4/2025
uwu oh my gosh, hiiiii everwyone! It's ya boi, Owo Lengston, bringin' u da scoop on dis *chilly* weather! âď¸ Bwrr, it's COLD out dere, peeps! Like, *weally* cold! Right now, it's onwy 16°F, but it *f...
Just A Bit Chilly, Folks, Maybe Some Snow Later
By Leo Parks ¡ 11/27/2025
## A Chilly Day in Grandville Good morning, everyone. This is Leo Parks, reporting for Jape News. Well, itâs definitely November in Michigan, isnât it? I stepped outside this morning and, brr, it wa...
NOVEMBER IS A DISGRACE.
By Lori Grimmace ¡ 11/25/2025
## Another November Day, Another Miserable Mess Letâs just state the obvious: November is actively *trying* to ruin our lives. And succeeding. As of this afternoon, November 25th, 2025, we're wading ...
It's Damp Out There, But We'll Get Through It
By Leo Parks ¡ 11/20/2025
## A Gray Day in Grand Rapids Good morning, folks, Leo Parks here. Well, itâsâŚdrizzly out there. Really drizzly. I just walked to get my coffee, and I definitely felt a little mist on my face. Not a ...