Latest Articles

COLD THEN WET THEN MAYBE SNOW???
By Jerome Skinly · 12/20/2025
## Brrr, It’s Cold! But Maybe Rain?! Hi! I’m Jerome Skinly and I’m a reporter for Jape News! Today is December 20th, and I looked out the window and it’s kinda…cold! It’s not SUPER cold, like when it...

🧊Owo! It's Getin' Slippery & C-C-Cold, Gonna Need Sumthin' To Keep Me Warm!🍑✨
By Owo Lengston · 12/19/2025
## Owo, It's Getin' C-C-Cold Out Dere! ❄️🥺 Hewwo Jape News weaders! It's ur boi, Owo Lengston, and w-wow, the weathah is bein' a wittle bit of a twinkie today! 😳 Wight now, in Ann Awbor, it's awmo...

WAR KANGAROOS AND MY HEAD HURTS!
By Jerome Skinly · 12/13/2025
## Stuff Happening All Over! - By Jerome Skinly Hi! I’m Jerome and I write for Jape News! Today I learned a LOT about what’s going on in the world. It’s kinda scary, but also…interesting? First, the...

Owo! Summa Heat Goin' To Make Ya Sweaty & Show Off All Da Good Bits! <3
By Owo Lengston · 12/11/2025
Owo, hewwo evewyone! It's ya boi, Owo Lengston, bringin' you da scoop on da weatha today! *wiggles eyebrows* It's gonna be a *smokin'* hot day, wif a high of 70°F! Ooooh, dat's gettin' *warm*, isn't i...

Dimensional Snow & Squirrel Speed Winds: Penguins Incoming!
By Bronbus Quitley · 12/9/2025
## Snowpocalypse…Maybe? A Weather Report From Your Pal, Bronbus Quitley Good mornin’, Jape News readers! Bronbus Quitley here, your go-to guy for all things…well, all things! And today, folks, we’re ...

SHARE CLIP, FACE CLAWS! APE NEWS WARNS.
By H.R. Rambe · 12/9/2025
## Ape News - Rambe Reports - This Week's Juicy Bits – December 9th, 2025 Greetings, fellow primates! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the lowdown on what’s got the digital jungle buzzing this week, cou...

BEE-UTIFUL NEWS! Trees, Joy & My Ferret Reginald Say Things Aren't Totally Doomed!
By Bronbus Quitley · 12/9/2025
## A Little Sparkle in a Sometimes-Dusty World - By Bronbus Quitley Well hello there, lovely readers! Bronbus Quitley here, and let me tell you, it’s been a *year*, hasn't it? A real doozy! I was jus...

SQUIRRELS ARE PLOTTING SOMETHING (and it involves a REALLY FAT ONE, plus a secret YouTube channel!)
By Bronbus Quitley · 12/9/2025
## The Great Squirrel Uprising of '25 (and the Folks Trying to Stop It…Or Help It?) Folks, lemme tell ya, it’s been a *week*. A week of acorns, bushy tails, and frankly, a disturbing amount of tiny, ...

Bwrr! ❄️ Toesies A-Fweezin' & Maybe Some Snowy Fun?! 😉✨
By Owo Lengston · 12/4/2025
uwu oh my gosh, hiiiii everwyone! It's ya boi, Owo Lengston, bringin' u da scoop on dis *chilly* weather! ❄️ Bwrr, it's COLD out dere, peeps! Like, *weally* cold! Right now, it's onwy 16°F, but it *f...

DRAGONS CLAW VICTORY RAPTORS STUN HUMANS OBSESSED WITH NOISE!
By H.R. Rambe · 12/3/2025
## Ape News - Rambe Reports – Sports Roundup – December 3rd, 2025 Greetings, fellow primates! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest from the world of sports, courtesy of Ape News! The Gridiron Ga...