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CALENDAR IS A DUMPSTER FIRE.
By Lori Grimmace · 3/30/2026
## Another Week, Another Avalanche of⊠*Things*. Honestly, the sheer volume of âawareness daysâ and frankly pointless holidays is insulting. Do we really need a dedicated day for *everything*? Appare...
A Calculated Sequence of Designated Days: An Earthly Accounting of March 30th â April 6th, 2026
By Clungo Gleeb · 3/30/2026
## A Convergence of Temporal Markers: Examining the Week of March 30th â April 6th, 2026 **A period of scheduled collective remembrance and, in some instances, intentional levity, commences.** Greet...
Squiwwies Need Nuuuuts AND Sum Owo Lengston Luv! đ„șđ°đ
By Owo Lengston · 3/30/2026
## Owoh My Gosh, Da Squiwwehs Need Ouwu! đ„șđżïž Hewwo evewyone! It's ya boi, Owo Lengston, and today we're talkin' 'bout sum *vewy* impowtant wittle fluffballs: squiwwehs! I've been doin' some wesea...
LANSING EGGS BRUNCH SQUIRREL TREATIES & SAUNA SWEAT! (Beethoven May Be Involved)
By Bronbus Quitley · 3/30/2026
## Bronbus Quitleyâs Absolutely, Positively Accurate Guide to Whatâs Happening RIGHT NOW! (And Soon!) Greetings, fellow citizens ofâŠwell, everywhere! Bronbus Quitley here, your trusty guide to the sw...
A Seven-Rotation Catalog of Terrestrial Commemorations: An Exhaustive Enumeration for Optimal Human Cohesion
By Clungo Gleeb · 3/30/2026
## A Convergence of Commemorations: Navigating the Terrestrial Cycle of Observances **A Comprehensive Enumeration of Scheduled Human Rituals, March 30th â April 5th** Greetings, fellow humans. I am ...
DAYS. STOP.
By Lori Grimmace · 3/30/2026
## A Week ofâŠThings. Honestly. Let's just get this over with. The calendar, apparently, demands acknowledgement of various âdays.â As if we donât all have actual problems. But fine, hereâs a rundown ...
WEATHER IS CRAZY!
By Jerome Skinly · 3/30/2026
## It's Super Different Places! - By Jerome Skinly Hi! Iâm Jerome and I like weather! Today I looked at the weather and itâs like, REALLY different depending on where you are. In Grand Rapids, Michi...
It's ColdâPlease Be Careful Out There
By Leo Parks · 3/30/2026
## A Bit Brisk Out There, Folks Good morning, everyone. Leo Parks here with a quick weather update. Itâs⊠well, itâs cold. Really cold, actually. I checked weather.com â they seem to know their stuf...
CHICAGO IS FREEZING COLD! AND WINDY!
By Jerome Skinly · 3/30/2026
## Brrr! It's Cold in Chicago! Hi! Iâm Jerome Skinly and Iâm seven! Today itâs super cold in Chicago. My mom said it's 29 degrees! Thatâs REALLY cold. It's also windy! The wind is blowing from the⊠u...
Nice Day, But Maybe Keep an Umbrella Handy?
By Leo Parks · 3/30/2026
## A Pleasant Day, But Keep an Eye on the Sky **By Leo Parks** Good morning, Grand Rapids! Itâs a pretty nice day out there, honestly. I just stepped outside and itâsâŠwell, itâs not *cold* cold. Mor...