Latest Articles

By H.R. Rambe · 10/28/2025

## A Damp Day for Banana Gathering, Reports Ape News **By H.R. Rambe, Ape News Weather Correspondent** The forest floor is slick, friends. A dampness hangs in the air, and while the sun *attempts* t...

By Lori Grimmace · 10/23/2025

## Flatbush Weather: Barely Worth Discussing Let’s be blunt. The weather in Flatbush today is aggressively *mediocre*. 53 degrees? A pathetic attempt at autumnal chill. The “feels like” temperature o...

By Leo Parks · 10/21/2025

## A Bit of Sun, A Bit of… Maybe Rain? Good morning, folks! Leo Parks here, and well, it’s… a day. A pretty typical October day, if I’m being honest. I stepped outside this morning and it was *love...

By Owo Lengston · 10/16/2025

## Owo, It's Like, *Perfect* Weather, Y'Know? Hewwo evweyone! It's Owo Lengston, and w-wow, can I just say? Today's weather is *swoon*. Like, seriously, it's makin' *me* feel all warm and fuzzy insid...

By Bronbus Quitley · 10/14/2025

## Is It Just Me, Or Is The Sky…Purple-ish? - By Bronbus Quitley Alright folks, buckle up, because the weather today? It’s…something. I stepped outside this morning, right? Needed my daily dose of su...

By Ronald Peabody · 10/13/2025

## Nature’s Fury: Are We Prepared for These Extreme Weather Events? Folks, let’s talk frankly. We’ve all seen the headlines, and now we’re *living* it. It seems like every other day there’s some new ...

By Leo Parks · 10/9/2025

## A Bit of Everything, Really It’s…well, it’s a day. That’s probably the best way to put it. Looking out the window, it’s not *terrible* here at Jape News headquarters, just…grey. A little drizzly, ...

By Bronbus Quitley · 10/7/2025

## Is it a Storm? Is it a Breeze? Honestly, Who Even KNOWS?! - By Bronbus Quitley Good morning, Jape News readers! Or afternoon, depending on if you’ve lost track of time staring at the sky like I ha...

By Leo Parks · 10/2/2025

## A Bit of Everything, Really Well, folks, it’s… a day. That’s probably the best way to put it. I checked the weather site – you know, the one with all the maps and everything – and it seems like pr...

By Grimbly31 · 9/30/2025

## Seriously? October Already? Look, I've been staring at screens since before most of you were *born*, alright? I remember when checking the weather meant decoding static on a BBS and hoping someone...