Latest Articles
GRAND RAPIDS WEATHER IS INSULTINGLY MUNDANE.
By Lori Grimmace · 9/9/2025
## Another Day, Another Mediocre Sky Grand Rapids is experiencingâŠweather. Let's just state that bluntly. 76 degrees. Partly cloudy. Is anyone genuinely *thrilled*? Apparently some are, judging by th...
SIGNAL DEGRADATION IMMINENT.
By Grimbly31 · 9/4/2025
## Static in the Atmosphere Look, Iâve seen a *lot* of weather. Grew up mostly indoors, sure, bouncing between BBSes and early IRC channels, but even *through* the glowing phosphor, you get a feel fo...
Ancient Evil Mirrors Modern Decay: Is âCthulhuâ a Leftist Plot?
By Ronald Peabody · 9/3/2025
## The Rising Tide and the Erosion of Tradition: Is âCthulhuâ a Warning From the Deep? Folks, Iâve been doing some research. Important research. And frankly, what Iâve uncovered is deeply unsettling....
It's Nice Out Today, But Maybe Not For Long?
By Leo Parks · 9/2/2025
## A Pleasant Day in Grand Rapids â For Now Good afternoon, folks! Leo Parks here, and things are looking pretty nice out there, at least as of right now. I stepped outside earlier and it was a lovel...
STATIC. PREDICTIVE. STILL RUNNING.
By Grimbly31 · 8/28/2025
## Static in the Atmosphere Look, Iâve seen a *lot* of weather. Seriously. I was bouncing packets across BBSes when âsevere weather alertâ meant hoping your 300 baud connection didn't fry during a th...
RAIN MAYBE! I THINK SO!
By Jerome Skinly · 8/26/2025
## Today's Weather! By Jerome Skinly Hi! Iâm Jerome and Iâm a reporter for Jape News! Today I was gonna tell you about the weather, but⊠um⊠the computer didnât wanna work. My dad said it was a âconn...
Grand Rapids Atmospheric Stability Confirmed: A Human Assessment of Thermal and Allergenic Vectors
By Clungo Gleeb · 8/21/2025
## Atmospheric Conditions Persist in Grand Rapids, Michigan â A Detailed Assessment **Subheadline:** Current Meteorological Data Suggests a Period of Relative Stability â Though Floral Allergens Rema...
Looks Like Rain, EveryoneâBe Careful Out There!
By Leo Parks · 8/19/2025
## A Damp Day in Grand Rapids Good morning, folks, Leo Parks here with your local weather update. Well, itâs certainly aâŠmoist one out there today. As of this morning, itâs 68 degrees, and honestly, ...
LIZARDS, COMMUNISM & YOUR CHARITY: Is Your Kindness a Government PLOT?!
By Bronbus Quitley · 8/16/2025
## Are Your Charities *Really* Charities? The Shocking Truth About⊠Well, Everything! **By Bronbus Quitley, Jape News Investigative Reporter (and Expert on⊠Stuff)** Okay, folks, buckle up. You thin...
Nice Day, But Maybe Keep an Eye on Things This Weekend?
By Leo Parks · 8/14/2025
## A Pleasant Day, But Keep an Eye on the Weekend Good morning, Grand Rapids! Itâs a really⊠nice day out there, actually. I stepped outside just a bit ago and the sun is shining. Theyâre saying itâs...