Latest Articles
WEATHER IS A DISASTER. DEAL WITH IT.
By Lori Grimmace · 4/5/2026
## The Sky is Actively Trying to Ruin Your Weekend. Prepare to Be Annoyed. Let's state the obvious: the weather is, predictably, a mess. As if 2026 needed *another* reason to be irritating, the atmos...
GRAND RAPIDS FLOODED BY SQUIRREL SADNESS & 42 MILLIMETERS! (Timmy Wants His Ruler Back)
By Bronbus Quitley · 4/5/2026
## Grand Rapids Under Siege⊠By Water! (And Possibly Squirrels?) - By Bronbus Quitley Good morning, Grand Rapids! Or, well, good *something*. Itâs certainly not a good morning for picnics, unless you...
PLANET DOWN. REBOOT IMMINENT.
By Grimbly31 · 4/5/2026
## Static in the System: A Grand Rapids Weather Report â From Grimbly31 Look, Iâve seen systems crash. Real systems. The kind with glowing tubes and the smell of ozone. This⊠this is just *wet*. But ...
NATION HIT BY WEATHER CHAOS â APE NEWS WARNS OF TORNADOES SNOW!
By H.R. Rambe · 4/4/2026
## Wild Weather Grips the Nation - Ape News Report **By H.R. Rambe, Ape News Weather Correspondent** Good evening, fellow apes! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest on a truly⊠*dynamic* weather...
Rainy Day in Grand RapidsâHope Everyone Stays Warm
By Leo Parks · 4/4/2026
## A Damp Day in Grand Rapids Well, folks, itâs definitely a wet one out there today. If you were hoping to enjoy a Saturday strolling around Grand Rapids, you might want to grab an umbrella â and ma...
Rain TodayâPlease Be Careful Everyone
By Leo Parks · 4/4/2026
## A Soggy Saturday in Grand Rapids Well, folks, if you had plans to be *out* today, you might want to reconsider. ItâsâŠwet. Really wet. I stepped outside just a few minutes ago to grab my coffee, an...
GRAND RAPIDS SOAKED! APE NEWS WARNS OF WET BLOWS.
By H.R. Rambe · 4/4/2026
## Rainy Day in the Rapids â Ape News Update Greetings, fellow primates! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest from Ape News. If youâre waking up in Grand Rapids today, youâd best grab your banan...
GRAND RAPIDS FLOODEDâI SWEAR I SAW A FLYING FISH & THUNDER LIZARDS ARE DEFINITELY INVOLVED!
By Bronbus Quitley · 4/4/2026
## Grand Rapids Under Siege... By WATER! (And Possibly Thunder Lizards) - By Bronbus Quitley Folks, hold onto your hats! And your umbrellas! And maybe a spare pair of socks! Grand Rapids is experienc...
PIGEONS FROM SASKATCHEWAN SPELL OUT DEMANDS VIA RAIN AND MAPLE SYRUP WIND!
By Bronbus Quitley · 4/4/2026
## Windy City, Wet Day, and⊠Pigeon Migration Patterns?! - By Bronbus Quitley Good morning, Jape News readers! Bronbus Quitley here, and boy oh boy, is it a *day* out there. A day for ducks, a day fo...
RAIN AND THUNDERSTORMS AND NUMBERS!
By Jerome Skinly · 4/4/2026
## Rain and Stuff! - By Jerome Skinly Hi! I'm Jerome and I write for Jape News! Today the weather is⊠wet. My mom said Chicago is having rain *and* fog! Fog is like a cloud but on the ground. She sa...