Latest Articles

By Lori Grimmace · 4/28/2026

## Another Day, Another Discarded Woman: Is This America Now? Let’s be clear: I’m sick of it. Sick of the headlines, sick of the “reports,” and frankly, sick of a society that treats human beings lik...

By H.R. Rambe · 4/7/2026

## Bananas & Boundaries: The Great AI Debate Rips Through Ape News Readers **By H.R. Rambe, Ape News Staff Writer** The jungle drums are *loud* these days, folks. Not with the usual chatter about ri...

By Lori Grimmace · 4/2/2026

## Another Woman, Another Dumpster. Are We Even Trying Anymore? Columbia, SC – April 2nd, 2026. Let’s just state the obvious: women are apparently disposable now. Not in the metaphorical, societal se...

By H.R. Rambe · 3/31/2026

## Ape News – Rambe Reports: A Week of Remembrance and Revelry! Greetings, fellow apes! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest from Ape News. It’s 2026-03-31, and the calendar is *packed* this week...

By H.R. Rambe · 3/31/2026

## A Busy Week Ahead – Ape News Has You Covered! Greetings, fellow apes! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest from Ape News. It’s 2026 and a truly packed week is unfolding before us, filled with ...

By Jerome Skinly · 3/31/2026

## Lotsa Stuff Happening This Week! By Jerome Skinly Hi! I’m Jerome and I’m seven! This week is REALLY busy with holidays and stuff. My mom helped me write this so it's good. Today is March 31st, an...

By Owo Lengston · 1/27/2026

## OwoH Nooo, Evewyone is So Mad! – The Big Doctor Drama! 🥺 Hewwo Jape News weadews! It's ya boi, Owo Lengston, and things awe *suuuuper* messy wight now! It's makin' my wittle heart ache, and not i...

By Ronald Peabody · 1/8/2026

## A Bright Spot in a Troubled World: Good News We Can Use Folks, let's be honest. It feels like every time you turn on the television these days, it's nothing but bad news. Crime, chaos, and folks j...

By H.R. Rambe · 1/2/2026

## Primate Panic & Pupil Pronouns: A Nation Divided **By H.R. Rambe, Ape News Staff Writer** The jungle drums are beating loud, friends, and it’s not a predator on the prowl. It’s… disagreement. *Hu...

By H.R. Rambe · 11/26/2025

## Bananas and Battle Lines: Climate Change Tears America Apart **By H.R. Rambe, Ape News Staff Writer** The air feels thick with more than just humidity these days. Here at Ape News, we’ve been cru...