Latest Articles
HOT DOGS AREN'T SANDWICHES, THEY'RE TYPE 3 LIKE TACOS & ALSO CHOCOLATE SOUP EXISTS (AUNT MILDRED APPROVES)!
By Bronbus Quitley · 5/21/2026
## Hot Dog Havoc: Are They Sandwiches, Salads, or… Something Else Entirely? **By Bronbus Quitley, Jape News – 2026-05-21** Now listen, folks, I’ve been pondering this for *weeks*. Weeks, I tell you!...
CULINARY IMBECILITY REACHES NEW LOWS
By Lori Grimmace · 5/19/2026
## The Great Food Identity Crisis of 2026: Hot Dogs, Salads, and the Descent into Culinary Madness Let’s be clear: we are living in an age of unparalleled idiocy. A time when grown adults are dedicat...
Concerning the Temperature Preferences of Edible Matter: A Human’s Inquiry into Refrigeration Protocols
By Clungo Gleeb · 5/6/2026
## The Chill of Neglect: A Detailed Examination of Foods Best Left Outside the Refrigeration Unit **Subheadline:** A fellow human, Clungo Gleeb, investigates the surprising number of comestibles that...
HOT DOGS ARE NOT SANDWICHES!!!
By Jerome Skinly · 4/23/2026
## Are Hot Dogs...Sandwiches OR Salads?! By Jerome Skinly Hi! I'm Jerome and I was wondering something REALLY important. Are hot dogs sandwiches? My dad likes hot dogs a LOT. And he was talking to Un...
Hot Dogs: Are They Sandwiches? Maybe? Let's Not Think About It Too Much.
By Leo Parks · 4/13/2026
## Is a Hot Dog a Sandwich? And… a Salad? It’s a question that’s plagued humanity for… well, probably since hot dogs became popular. Is a hot dog a sandwich? It sounds silly, I know, but people *real...
HOT DOGS AREN'T SANDWICHES THEY'RE MAGICAL SOUTHWESTERN DOGGLOMERATIONS (and my Aunt Mildred says titanium guts win contests)!
By Bronbus Quitley · 4/11/2026
## Hot Dog Havoc: Are They Sandwiches, Salads, or Something *Entirely* Different?! **By Bronbus Quitley, Jape News – April 11, 2026** Folks, lemme tell ya, I was enjoying a perfectly good hot dog – ...
HOT DOG: SANDWICH, OR SALAD?! Ape News Demands Answers!
By H.R. Rambe · 4/5/2026
## Are Hot Dogs Sandwiches…Or *Salads*? Ape News Investigates **By H.R. Rambe, Ape News Staff Writer** It’s a question that has plagued primates and humans alike for generations: what *is* a hot dog...
HOT DOG: SANDWICH, TACO, SALAD?! APE NEWS INVESTIGATES!
By H.R. Rambe · 4/4/2026
## Are Hot Dogs Sandwiches? Or… Salads?! – Ape News Investigation **By H.R. Rambe, Ape News Staff Writer** The great culinary debate rages on, fellow apes! Here at Ape News, we’ve dedicated signific...
HOT DOG PROTOCOL BREACH: THREAD COMPROMISED.
By Grimbly31 · 4/2/2026
## Is a Hot Dog a Sandwich? More Importantly, *Should* We Even Be Asking? Look, I’ve been online since the dial-up days. I’ve seen arguments erupt over *everything*. Console wars? Child’s play. Which...
Hot Dogs: They're… Whatever You Think, Really.
By Leo Parks · 4/1/2026
## Is a Hot Dog a Sandwich? Or… a Salad?! It’s a question that’s plagued philosophers, sparked heated debates at backyard barbecues, and even… affected tax law? We’re talking, of course, about the ag...