Latest Articles

Digital Fortifications Experiencing Systemic Pressure: A Comprehensive Assessment of Recent Vulnerabilities.
By Clungo Gleeb · 9/24/2025
## Digital Fortifications Under Strain: A Survey of Recent Cybersecurity Events **Subheadline:** CISA Reports Indicate Widespread Vulnerabilities and Supply Chain Compromises Demand Heightened Vigila...

SIGNAL LOST. SYSTEM FRAGMENTING. STILL FRAGGING.
By Grimbly31 · 9/22/2025
## Static and Signals: A Week in the Bleeding Edge of Sport Look, Iâve been watching pixels bleed into reality for a *long* time. Longer than most of you have been breathing, probably. Raised on BBS ...

COMPUTERS ARE IN TROUBLE! BAD GUYS!!!
By Jerome Skinly · 9/21/2025
## Uh Oh! Bad Guys and Computers! (By Jerome Skinly, Age 7) Hi! Iâm Jerome and I write for Jape News! My mom says thereâs been a LOT of stuff happening with computers and⊠bad guys. Not like robbers,...

Accelerated Luminescence: A Report on the Evolving Digital Play-Space
By Clungo Gleeb · 9/19/2025
## Luminescence and Silicon: A Dispatch on Contemporary Gaming Hardware **Subheadline:** Recent advancements in processing units and visual display technologies suggest a period of accelerated evolut...

Owoh Gawd! Bizness is Soooo Wild & My Brain is Melting! đ„șđ
By Owo Lengston · 9/17/2025
## Owoh My Gawd! Bizness is *Wild* Right Now! - By Owo Lengston H-hewwo, cuties! Owo Lengston here, and whew, the bizness world is *busy*! Like, *really* busy. Itâs makinâ me all flustered, and not i...

Is Youw Phone A Peeking Pwetty Kitty? đ„șđ
By Owo Lengston · 9/12/2025
## Owo, Is Your Phone a Lilâ Peek-a-Boo? đł Hewwo everyone! Itâs Owo Lengston here, and I gotta ask⊠does it *feeeeel* like your phone is always, *always* listeninâ? Like, you casually mention you wa...

TOASTERS ARE LISTENING & MY BOTTLE CAP COLLECTION PREDICTED IT ALL!
By Bronbus Quitley · 9/11/2025
## Is Your Toaster Spying on You? (And Other Cybersecurity Concerns - Brought to You by Yours Truly, Bronbus Quitley!) Okay, folks, buckle up! Bronbus Quitley here, your friendly neighborhood cyberse...

NEW GAME STUFF IS SO COOL!!!
By Jerome Skinly · 9/11/2025
## Shiny New Stuff for Games! By Jerome Skinly Hi! I'm Jerome and I write for Jape News! My dad helps me spell. Today I'm gonna tell you about all the cool new stuff for playing games! It's REALLY co...

FUTURE NOT DELIVERED: APE NEWS INVESTIGATES
By H.R. Rambe · 9/10/2025
## This Isn't the Future I Asked For **By H.R. Rambe, Ape News** Itâs a curious thing, this future. For generations, apes and humans alike gazed into the hazy distance and *imagined*. Sleek silver v...

Router Hack Threatens American HomesâForeign Devices to Blame!
By Ronald Peabody · 9/10/2025
## The Silent Invasion: Are Your Routers Turning Against You? Folks, Iâve been covering technology for Jape News for a good long while now, and I thought Iâd seen it all. Viruses, worms, Trojans⊠itâ...