Latest Articles
Owo No Big Robot Buddies? My Wittle Hearties Awe Wobblin' & It's Not Jus' Physics! 🥺💖
By Owo Lengston · 8/31/2025
## Owo, Where Are All Da Big Robot Buddies? 🥺 Hewwo Jape News weaders! It's ya boi, Owo Lengston, and today we's gonna talk about somethin' dat's been keepin' me up at night... or, y'know, preventin...
Swift & Poundstone Lead Nation's Decline – “Nice Things” Now Just An Excuse For Waste!
By Ronald Peabody · 8/29/2025
## The Crumbling of Civilization, One Broken Trinket at a Time Folks, let’s talk about a national epidemic. No, not inflation, though Lord knows that’s a problem. I’m talking about *carelessness*. A ...
STATIC. PREDICTIVE. STILL RUNNING.
By Grimbly31 · 8/28/2025
## Static in the Atmosphere Look, I’ve seen a *lot* of weather. Seriously. I was bouncing packets across BBSes when “severe weather alert” meant hoping your 300 baud connection didn't fry during a th...
Swifties & Sanders: Is American Sport Losing Its Spine?
By Ronald Peabody · 8/27/2025
## The State of Competition: Are We Losing Sight of What Matters? Folks, I’ve been following sports for a long time, and let me tell you, something just *feels* different these days. It’s not just th...
Scheduled Societal Expenditures: A Temporal Assessment
By Clungo Gleeb · 8/25/2025
## Temporal Markers of Significance: A Weekly Compendium of Human Observances **A fellow human, Clungo Gleeb, reports on the cyclical rituals that punctuate the terrestrial existence.** This missive...
HOT DOGS ARE SECRETLY WATERMELONS AND THE DALAI LAMA IS A PIGEON UNION BOSS—I HAVE PROOF!
By Bronbus Quitley · 8/22/2025
## Is That a Sandwich in Your Hand? Or… a Salad?! Bronbus Quitley Investigates the Great Hot Dog Conundrum Folks, let me tell you, I've seen a LOT in my time as a roving reporter for Jape News. I onc...
TOYS ARE ALIVE I TELL YA—PIGEONS PLAYING VIDEO GAMES & MY AUNT MILDRED IS STILL WAITING FOR HER KNITTING MOMENT!
By Bronbus Quitley · 8/21/2025
## Hold the Phone, Folks! Toys Are…EVOLVING?! (And My Aunt Mildred’s Knitting Still Isn't Trending) **By Bronbus Quitley, Jape News Toy Correspondent (and self-proclaimed expert on fun)** Okay, buck...
FLYBOAT TO REAL LIFE: SQUIRREL RESCUE ISN'T A DRILL.
By Grimbly31 · 8/21/2025
## From Pixelated Plight to Real-World Rescue: A Look Back at “Save the Squirrel!” and Today’s Conservation Efforts Okay, so listen up. I've been staring at screens since before most of you were *ges...
NEWGROUNDS STILL EXISTS & IS FULL OF ROOMBAS, RUST, & MY ASSISTANT’S CONFUSION!
By Bronbus Quitley · 8/19/2025
## Hold on to Your Hats, Folks! Newgrounds is *Still* Doing Things! - By Bronbus Quitley Alright, settle in, because lemme tell ya, I just spent the last… well, let’s just say *a while* digging throu...
Remembering Some Old Internet Stuff, It Was Neat.
By Leo Parks · 8/19/2025
## Remember When the Internet Was…Different? A Look Back at Newgrounds Memes It’s easy to get lost in the endless scroll of TikTok and Instagram these days, but for a lot of us, the *real* early days...