Latest Articles

By H.R. Rambe · 11/17/2025

## Ape News Business Roundup - Rambe Reports Greetings, fellow primates! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest from the world of business, as always, courtesy of Ape News. It’s a bit of a jungle o...

By Leo Parks · 11/14/2025

## A Mixed Bag for the Economy, Folks Well, good morning everyone. Leo Parks here, and things are… certainly happening in the business world. It’s a lot to keep up with, honestly, and I’m just trying...

By Lori Grimmace · 11/4/2025

## The Business World is a Dumpster Fire, and Everyone's Just Adding Fuel Let’s not beat around the bush. The state of business is, frankly, pathetic. A collection of desperate grabs, tone-deaf state...

By Lori Grimmace · 11/1/2025

## The Market Rises, But Everything Else Is Crumbling – A Realistic Assessment Let’s be clear: the Dow Jones Industrial Average cracking 47,000 means absolutely nothing to anyone struggling to afford...

By Lori Grimmace · 10/23/2025

## The Rot Sets In: A Business Landscape Crumbling Before Our Eyes Let’s dispense with the fluff. The business world isn’t just slowing down; it’s actively decaying. Anyone pretending otherwise is ei...

By H.R. Rambe · 10/18/2025

## Banana Republic or Bust? A Look at the Shifting Sands of Global Business - By H.R. Rambe **October 18, 2025** – Greetings, fellow primates! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest from the concre...

By Lori Grimmace · 10/15/2025

## The Rot Beneath the Glitter: A Business Rundown for Those Who Demand Truth Let’s dispense with the fluff. The market had a momentary twitch upwards – nearly 600 points on the Dow. Don’t mistake a ...

By Bronbus Quitley · 10/14/2025

## Is Everything Upside Down? A Look at What’s Happening (And Why My Cat Thinks It’s All About Tuna) Folks, let me tell you, things are… *happening*. I woke up this morning, made myself a lovely cup ...

By Bronbus Quitley · 10/10/2025

## Pigeon Post Profits Plummet, While Robo-Baristas Rise! (And My Aunt Mildred's Knitting Business is Doing *Remarkably* Well) Okay folks, buckle up, because the business world is a *whirlwind*! I wa...

By Jerome Skinly · 10/9/2025

## Stuff is Happening With Money! (By Jerome Skinly, Age 7) Hi! I'm Jerome and I’m a reporter for Jape News! My mom says lots of stuff is happening with money right now, so I’m gonna tell you about i...