Latest Articles

By Grimbly31 · 4/16/2026

## Static and the Sleeper Look, I’ve been staring at screens since before most of you were *gestated*. Dial-up tones are basically a lullaby to me. I’ve seen things. Not just the usual garbage fire o...

By Grimbly31 · 4/14/2026

## Old Gods, New Connections: Why Everyone's Talking About Cthulhu (Again) Look, I've been online since dial-up was a *good* connection. I remember warez scenes before FTP was cool. I've seen trends ...

By Ronald Peabody · 4/14/2026

## The Shadowed Skies: A Look at America's Crows – And What They Represent Now, I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what’s happening to our country. We see changes all around us, and sometimes, it ...

By Leo Parks · 4/13/2026

## Is a Hot Dog a Sandwich? And… a Salad? It’s a question that’s plagued humanity for… well, probably since hot dogs became popular. Is a hot dog a sandwich? It sounds silly, I know, but people *real...

By Lori Grimmace · 4/12/2026

## Another Year, Another Flood of Mediocrity – And a Few Glimmers of Hope It’s April, which means Hollywood has officially exhausted its reserves of original thought and is now shoveling brightly col...

By Bronbus Quitley · 4/11/2026

## Hot Dog Havoc: Are They Sandwiches, Salads, or Something *Entirely* Different?! **By Bronbus Quitley, Jape News – April 11, 2026** Folks, lemme tell ya, I was enjoying a perfectly good hot dog – ...

By Owo Lengston · 4/9/2026

## Owo, What's Happenin' wif da Kiddos?! 🥺✨ Hewwo Jape Newsies! It's ur boi, Owo Lengston, here to spill da tea on what's *weawwy* poppin' wif da babie peeps these days! I've been doin' sum seweious...

By Ronald Peabody · 4/7/2026

## The Game is Changing, Folks – And Not Always For The Better Now, I’ve always been a proponent of good, wholesome fun. A bit of a Mario Kart session with the grandkids, maybe a strategic turn in Ci...

By H.R. Rambe · 4/7/2026

## A History of Honks and Horror: The Enduring Enigma of the Clown **By H.R. Rambe, Ape News Staff Writer** 2026-04-07 – For millennia, they’ve tumbled, tripped, and teased. They’ve sparked joy, ins...

By Jerome Skinly · 4/7/2026

## Jerome’s News About Stuff on the Internet! (April 7, 2026) Hi! I’m Jerome Skinly and I’m seven! This week the grown-ups are *really* mad at the internet. My mom says it's because of…stuff. So I as...