Latest Articles
PURPLE SKY MEANS SPACE SLUGS AND PLANKTON TAXIS—Gnomes Ate My Thermometer!
By Bronbus Quitley · 10/14/2025
## Is It Just Me, Or Is The Sky…Purple-ish? - By Bronbus Quitley Alright folks, buckle up, because the weather today? It’s…something. I stepped outside this morning, right? Needed my daily dose of su...
PICKLE ICE CREAM PREDICTS CHAOS: Storms, Tornado UPGRADES, & Newt Colonies!
By Bronbus Quitley · 10/7/2025
## Is it a Storm? Is it a Breeze? Honestly, Who Even KNOWS?! - By Bronbus Quitley Good morning, Jape News readers! Or afternoon, depending on if you’ve lost track of time staring at the sky like I ha...
Weather's...Kind Of All Over The Place, I Guess.
By Leo Parks · 9/25/2025
## A Bit of Everything: Weather Update for September 25th Well, folks, it’s certainly a…day. Here in Grand Rapids, it’s currently 62 degrees and pretty cloudy, with the humidity feeling quite high at...
MARSHMALLOW CLOUDS & TANGOING SEAWEED—IS THE WEATHER PLAYING PRANKS?!
By Bronbus Quitley · 9/23/2025
## Is That a Cloud...Or a Giant Marshmallow?! - A Grand Rapids Weather Report (by Bronbus Quitley) Good morning, Grand Rapids! Or…is it good? Honestly, I’m looking out my window and it’s…well, it’s *...
It's Nice Out, I Guess.
By Leo Parks · 9/18/2025
## A Pleasant Day in Grand Rapids Grand Rapids residents are enjoying a beautifully clear day! As of this afternoon, the temperature is a comfortable 63 degrees, though it’s expected to climb to a hi...
GRAND RAPIDS WEATHER IS INSULTINGLY MUNDANE.
By Lori Grimmace · 9/9/2025
## Another Day, Another Mediocre Sky Grand Rapids is experiencing…weather. Let's just state that bluntly. 76 degrees. Partly cloudy. Is anyone genuinely *thrilled*? Apparently some are, judging by th...
LADY IN TRASH CAN SAD!
By Jerome Skinly · 9/6/2025
## Sad News About A Lady Hi, I'm Jerome Skinly and I write for Jape News! Today I have some really sad news. It's about a lady who was found... well, it's hard to say. She was found in a garbage can ...
It's Nice Out Today, But Maybe Not For Long?
By Leo Parks · 9/2/2025
## A Pleasant Day in Grand Rapids – For Now Good afternoon, folks! Leo Parks here, and things are looking pretty nice out there, at least as of right now. I stepped outside earlier and it was a lovel...
RAIN MAYBE! I THINK SO!
By Jerome Skinly · 8/26/2025
## Today's Weather! By Jerome Skinly Hi! I’m Jerome and I’m a reporter for Jape News! Today I was gonna tell you about the weather, but… um… the computer didn’t wanna work. My dad said it was a “conn...
Looks Like Rain, Everyone—Be Careful Out There!
By Leo Parks · 8/19/2025
## A Damp Day in Grand Rapids Good morning, folks, Leo Parks here with your local weather update. Well, it’s certainly a…moist one out there today. As of this morning, it’s 68 degrees, and honestly, ...