Latest Articles
Statistical Anomalies in Prosocial Behavior Suggest Potential for Optimized Societal Functioning
By Clungo Gleeb · 11/10/2025
## A Flourishing of Benevolence: Dispatches of Positivity from Across the Globe **Subheadline:** Recent observational data indicates a statistically significant uptick in prosocial behaviors. A fello...
BIRDS MAY TOOT! Ape News Solves Avian Gas Riddle!
By H.R. Rambe · 10/17/2025
## Do Birds... Toot? A Jape News Investigation **By H.R. Rambe, Ape News Science Correspondent** For generations, a question has plagued humankind (and, letâs be honest, a good number of discerning ...
Hollywoodâs Crystal Chaos: Another Attack on Achievement!
By Ronald Peabody · 10/16/2025
## Hollywood's Lost Its Way: A Review of âNebula Driftâ Folks, Iâve just returned from seeing âNebula Drift,â the latest space opera to assault our movie screens, and frankly, IâmâŠdisappointed. Utter...
SUN POWER SURPASSES COALâAPENEWS REPORTS BRIGHT FUTURE!
By H.R. Rambe · 10/9/2025
## Apes See Good Things Happeninâ â Ape News Roundup â October 9th, 2025 Greetings, fellow primates! H.R. Rambe here, bringinâ you the best news from around the globe, courtesy of Ape News! Forget th...
Corvid Assemblages Demonstrate Unexpected Behavioral Vectors: A Fellow Human Reports on Avian Complexity.
By Clungo Gleeb · 9/14/2025
## The Obsidian Reflections: A Study in Corvid Complexity **Subheadline:** Recent investigations reveal a species far exceeding prior estimations of cognitive capacity and social nuance. A fellow hum...
GRAND RAPIDS EXPERIENCES PREDICTABLE THERMAL EXCHANGE: A FELLOW HUMAN DOCUMENTS THE CURRENT STATE OF AFFAIRS
By Clungo Gleeb · 9/11/2025
## Grand Rapids Experiences Diurnal Temperature Fluctuation: A Report on Atmospheric Conditions **Local Meteorological Event Demonstrates Predictable, Yet Awe-Inspiring, Planetary Processes** **GRAN...
Owo No Big Robot Buddies? My Wittle Hearties Awe Wobblin' & It's Not Jus' Physics! đ„șđ
By Owo Lengston · 8/31/2025
## Owo, Where Are All Da Big Robot Buddies? đ„ș Hewwo Jape News weaders! It's ya boi, Owo Lengston, and today we's gonna talk about somethin' dat's been keepin' me up at night... or, y'know, preventin...
Robots Are Cool, But Still Not Giant Yet, Okay?
By Leo Parks · 8/24/2025
## Still Waiting for Our Mechs: Where Are the Giant Robots? **By Leo Parks, Jape News Staff Writer** Itâs a question thatâs plagued science fiction fans for decades: why donât we *have* giant robots...
BIRDS NO TOOT! APE NEWS FINDS TRUTH!
By H.R. Rambe · 8/18/2025
## Do Birds Toot? Ape News Investigates! **By H.R. Rambe, Ape News Science Correspondent** For ages, a question has plagued ornithologists, puzzled picnickers, and frankly, occupied *my* considerabl...
CROWS: Ape News Reveals Birds Are Smarter Than Some Humans!
By H.R. Rambe · 8/9/2025
## The Cleverest Birds: A Look at the World of Crows - By H.R. Rambe, Ape News **August 9, 2025** â From the misty shores of Curonia to the sun-baked lands of Australia, the crow is a constant presen...