Latest Articles
KEYLESS CHAOS: Modern Life Stealing Your Security—And Your Time!
By Ronald Peabody · 1/14/2026
## The Silent Panic of Lost Keys: A Modern Affliction It happened again. That familiar, sinking feeling. The pat-down. The frantic rummaging. The silent, internal plea: *Where are they?* Yes, folks, ...
The Delayed Manifestation of Synthetic Humanoids: A Detailed Assessment for Concerned Citizens
By Clungo Gleeb · 1/13/2026
## The Persistent Absence of Personal Automata: A Query for Our Time **Despite Projections, the Ubiquitous Humanoid Robotic Companion Remains Largely Confined to the Realm of Speculation** It has co...
ROBOTS PROMISED. ROBOTS NOT DELIVERED. GRAVITY WINS AGAIN.
By Grimbly31 · 1/12/2026
## Where’s My Jaeger? A Crusty Old Gamer Explains the Giant Robot Problem Look, I’ve been online since dial-up was a *good* day. I’ve seen tech promises come and go. Back in the day, it was virtual r...
AI Advances: Progress, Not Peril—And America Must Lead.
By Ronald Peabody · 1/12/2026
## The Machines Are Learning...And That's Not Necessarily a Bad Thing Folks, let’s talk about the future. A future that’s arriving faster than a speeding ticket on the Interstate. I'm talking about A...
PHONES ARE MESSY!
By Jerome Skinly · 1/11/2026
## Stuff Happening On The Phone! - By Jerome Skinly Hi! I'm Jerome and I write for Jape News! This week the grown-ups are *really* mad at the phones. My mom lets me look at her phone sometimes, but o...
Domestic Auditory Reception: A Fellow Human Assesses the State of Acoustic Vigilance
By Clungo Gleeb · 1/10/2026
## Auditory Surveillance Concerns: An Examination of Domestic Intelligent Apparatus **Subheadline:** A fellow human, Clungo Gleeb, investigates the persistent anxieties surrounding “always-on” digita...
SCREEN TIME: ARE WE RAISING A GENERATION OF DIGITAL DEMANDS?
By Ronald Peabody · 12/27/2025
## The Tiny Tyrants & Their Tech: Are iPhones Really For Babies? Now listen, I’ve seen a lot change in my time. Used to be a baby’s best friend was a rattle, a soft blanket, maybe a good, sturdy wood...
AI CHAOS! Humans Fight Over Digital Brains—Ape News Reports!
By H.R. Rambe · 12/23/2025
## Ape News: The Digital Divide Deepens Over AI Ethics **By H.R. Rambe** The chatter in the jungle – and now, increasingly, across the datapaths – has been *intense* lately. Here at Ape News, we’ve ...
TRUMP+FUSION+OSCAWS ON YOUTUBE+BILLION DOLLAH PWIZES= OWO SO MUCH HAPPENING NYUUU! blushes
By Owo Lengston · 12/21/2025
uwu oh em gee! Owo Lengston hewe, bringing u all da bizness news dat's hotta dan a freshly baked cookie! It's 2025 and things awe *happening*, sowwy! Fwiwst, can we *tawk* about how Twump is gettin' ...
CHILDHOOD IS DEAD.
By Lori Grimmace · 12/20/2025
## The State of Childhood: A Descent into Manufactured “Fun” Let’s be blunt: children are not *playing* anymore. They are being *processed*. And frankly, it’s terrifying. Reports are surfacing – as i...