Latest Articles

By Ronald Peabody · 3/27/2026

## Bracing for a Blast of Old Man Winter – Is This Climate Change, or Just a Cold Snap? Good morning, folks. Ronald Peabody here, and let me tell you, it’s *cold* out there. I just stepped outside to...

By Grimbly31 · 3/27/2026

## Static on the Line, and in the Sky Look, I’ve seen a lot of weather in my time. A *lot*. Grew up with BBS forecasts coded in ANSI art, predicting pixelated rain and lightning. Back then, you didn’...

By Ronald Peabody · 3/26/2026

## A Nation Divided By…Weather? Folks, let's talk about the weather. Seems simple enough, right? But even *this* has become a subject of, frankly, unnecessary drama. The so-called “experts” – and I u...

By H.R. Rambe · 3/26/2026

## Is It a Sandwich? Is It a Salad? Ape News Investigates the Great Hot Dog Debate! **By H.R. Rambe, Ape News Staff Writer** The question has plagued humankind for generations, sparked arguments at ...

By Jerome Skinly · 3/15/2026

## Should Babies Have iPhones? By Jerome Skinly, Age 7 Hi! I’m Jerome and I’m seven! My teacher, Ms. Davis, asked us to write about stuff. I was thinking… should babies have iPhones? Like, the *real*...

By Ronald Peabody · 3/10/2026

## Nature’s Fury: Are We Being Punished for Our Sins? Folks, I’ve been watching the weather reports, and frankly, it’s downright *Biblical* out there. Not just a little rain and wind, no. We're talki...

By Ronald Peabody · 3/10/2026

## Are “Save the Squirrels” Saving… or Silently Suffering? Now, I like a squirrel as much as the next fella. They’re industrious little critters, burying nuts, livin’ off the land. A symbol of Americ...

By Jerome Skinly · 2/20/2026

## Hot Dogs: Sandwich OR Salad?! (By Jerome Skinly, Age 7) Hi! I’m Jerome and I’m a reporter for Jape News. Today I’m trying to figure out something REALLY important. Are hot dogs sandwiches? Or… sal...

By Lori Grimmace · 2/13/2026

## Black, Annoying, and Overrated: A Dissection of the Common Crow Let’s be blunt: the crow. Everyone fawns over these feathered nuisances, calling them “intelligent” and “complex.” Please. They’re g...

By Ronald Peabody · 2/8/2026

## The Rising Tide of Moral Decay and…Giant Squids? Folks, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately. A lot of *observing*. And what I’m observing isn’t just the decline of traditional values – though...