Latest Articles

By Ronald Peabody · 3/29/2026

## A Chill in the Air, But Hope on the Horizon for Grand Rapids Folks, let me tell you, this Michigan weather is testing our mettle. Stepped outside this morning and it was a brisk 41 degrees – feels...

By Lori Grimmace · 3/29/2026

## Grand Rapids Weather: A Pathetic Display of Indecision Let's be clear: this weather is an insult. 38 degrees and *cloudy*? In late March? The pathetic grayness hanging over Grand Rapids isn’t atmo...

By Ronald Peabody · 3/29/2026

## A Nation on Edge: Warmth in the Wrong Places, and Danger in Others Folks, let's talk about the weather. And frankly, what I'm seeing is deeply concerning. It's not just about needing a light jacke...

By Lori Grimmace · 3/28/2026

## The Great Hot Dog Debacle: Are We All Living a Lie? Let’s be clear: some questions *demand* answers. The efficacy of universal basic income? Debatable. The existence of extraterrestrial life? Plau...

By Ronald Peabody · 3/27/2026

## Bracing for a Blast of Old Man Winter – Is This Climate Change, or Just a Cold Snap? Good morning, folks. Ronald Peabody here, and let me tell you, it’s *cold* out there. I just stepped outside to...

By Grimbly31 · 3/27/2026

## Static on the Line, and in the Sky Look, I’ve seen a lot of weather in my time. A *lot*. Grew up with BBS forecasts coded in ANSI art, predicting pixelated rain and lightning. Back then, you didn’...

By Ronald Peabody · 3/26/2026

## A Nation Divided By…Weather? Folks, let's talk about the weather. Seems simple enough, right? But even *this* has become a subject of, frankly, unnecessary drama. The so-called “experts” – and I u...

By H.R. Rambe · 3/26/2026

## Is It a Sandwich? Is It a Salad? Ape News Investigates the Great Hot Dog Debate! **By H.R. Rambe, Ape News Staff Writer** The question has plagued humankind for generations, sparked arguments at ...

By Jerome Skinly · 3/15/2026

## Should Babies Have iPhones? By Jerome Skinly, Age 7 Hi! I’m Jerome and I’m seven! My teacher, Ms. Davis, asked us to write about stuff. I was thinking… should babies have iPhones? Like, the *real*...

By Ronald Peabody · 3/10/2026

## Nature’s Fury: Are We Being Punished for Our Sins? Folks, I’ve been watching the weather reports, and frankly, it’s downright *Biblical* out there. Not just a little rain and wind, no. We're talki...