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Header image for: FRIDGE TYRANNY MUST END! Bananas Demand Sunshine, Potatoes Plot Escape!

FRIDGE TYRANNY MUST END! Bananas Demand Sunshine, Potatoes Plot Escape!

By Bronbus Quitley Ā· 8/14/2025

## The Fridge Rebellion: What *Doesn't* Belong in the Cold! – By Bronbus Quitley Good morning, Jape News readers! Bronbus Quitley here, and let me tell you, I’ve been doing some *serious* investigati...

Header image for: Just...a really sad thing happened at the Quick Stop.

Just...a really sad thing happened at the Quick Stop.

By Leo Parks Ā· 8/13/2025

## A Sad Discovery at the Quick Stop It’s… well, it’s just awful, really. Here at Jape News, we try to focus on the good things happening in our community, but sometimes we have to report on things t...

Header image for: TUBAS AREN'T JUST OOMPAH ANYMORE. I'VE SEEN THE SOURCE CODE.

TUBAS AREN'T JUST OOMPAH ANYMORE. I'VE SEEN THE SOURCE CODE.

By Grimbly31 Ā· 8/13/2025

## Beyond the Oompah: Unlocking the Tuba's Hidden Potential Look, I’ve been online since dial-up was a *good* day. Seen things you wouldn't believe. And let me tell you, the internet has a surprising...

Header image for: Well, That’s…Something.

Well, That’s…Something.

By Leo Parks Ā· 8/13/2025

## Carrot Top Announces Presidential Bid, Promises ā€œProps for Progressā€ **Las Vegas, NV – August 13, 2025** – In a move that has…certainly gotten people talking, veteran comedian and prop comic Carro...

Header image for: MOONTAKU FOUNDER: SECRETLY OBSESSED WITH VACUUMS (AND CHARTREUSE IS BETTER, OBVIOUSLY!)

MOONTAKU FOUNDER: SECRETLY OBSESSED WITH VACUUMS (AND CHARTREUSE IS BETTER, OBVIOUSLY!)

By Bronbus Quitley Ā· 8/13/2025

## Should We Challenge the Moon? Jape News Ponders a Rivalry with Moontaku! Good morning, Japers! Bronbus Quitley here, your friendly neighborhood news… well, *gatherer* really. Look, gathering is a ...

Header image for: BEAVERS ARE PLOTTING AND THE WEATHER CHANNEL PROVED IT! (Plus, spontaneous pigeon combustion!)

BEAVERS ARE PLOTTING AND THE WEATHER CHANNEL PROVED IT! (Plus, spontaneous pigeon combustion!)

By Bronbus Quitley Ā· 8/12/2025

## Is the Weather Messing With *You*?! - By Bronbus Quitley Alright folks, settle in, because the weather today? Hoo boy. It’s a doozy. I’m tellin’ ya, the atmosphere is just… *moody*. It's like it w...

Header image for: 🄺Owo! Funewal Talk is WILD & Makes Owo Blushies!~🐾🤭

🄺Owo! Funewal Talk is WILD & Makes Owo Blushies!~🐾🤭

By Owo Lengston Ā· 8/12/2025

## Owo's Top Ten Things Folks Say at Funewals (and Why They're Kinda Funny, Nya~) 🐾 H-hewwo, d-darlings! It's Owo Lengston, yuwu favowite weeporter, and today we're diving into a topic that's...well...

Header image for: PLANET STRESSFUL: Ape News Reports Global Troubles!

PLANET STRESSFUL: Ape News Reports Global Troubles!

By H.R. Rambe Ā· 8/12/2025

## A World on Edge - Ape News Roundup - August 12, 2025 Greetings, fellow primates! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest from around the globe, as reported by Ape News. It’s a troubling week, fra...

Header image for: Gaza, Ukraine, & Wittle Boxews OH MY GOSH! Wold's a MESS & My Heawt is BWEAKIN'! sniffles & bats eyelashes

Gaza, Ukraine, & Wittle Boxews OH MY GOSH! Wold's a MESS & My Heawt is BWEAKIN'! sniffles & bats eyelashes

By Owo Lengston Ā· 8/11/2025

uwu oh my gosh, hewwo evewyone! It's Owo Lengston hewe, and things awe... a wittle bit of a mess out thewe, nyah! Let's dive into what's been happenin' awound da wowwd, okay? *giggles* Fiwst, poor wi...

Header image for: Smores Elephants Lazy Days!

Smores Elephants Lazy Days!

By Jerome Skinly Ā· 8/11/2025

## Hi! It's Jerome Skinly Here! News Time! (August 11, 2025) Hi everybody! It's me, Jerome! I'm seven and I write for Jape News! This week is REALLY busy with lots of days to remember! My mom says it...