Latest Articles

By Lori Grimmace · 5/26/2026

## Another Day, Another Weather Disaster (and Some Mildly Irritating Sunshine) Let’s just get this over with. The Eastern United States is, predictably, drowning. Showers and thunderstorms, stretchin...

By Lori Grimmace · 4/7/2026

## The Sky is Actively Trying to Ruin Your Life – A Weather Report Let’s be clear: if you thought spring meant sunshine and gentle breezes, you were tragically mistaken. The planet is actively demons...

By Lori Grimmace · 4/5/2026

## Detroit Drowns, and The Weather Channel Brags: A Dispatch From the Soggy Wasteland Let’s be clear: if you left your house today in Detroit without an ark, you made a mistake. Showers. *Showers*. T...

By H.R. Rambe · 4/4/2026

## Wild Weather Grips the Nation - Ape News Report **By H.R. Rambe, Ape News Weather Correspondent** Good evening, fellow apes! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest on a truly… *dynamic* weather...

By Lori Grimmace · 4/4/2026

## Another Day, Another Atmospheric Assault Let’s be clear: “weather” is a generous term for what’s currently happening. It’s an *assault*. A sloppy, predictable assault, but an assault nonetheless. ...

By Jerome Skinly · 4/3/2026

## Today's Weather! By Jerome Skinly Hi! I’m Jerome and I write for Jape News! Today the weather is… complicated. My mom says it's because it’s spring. Some places are getting REALLY bad storms. Lik...

By Ronald Peabody · 4/3/2026

## A Chill Wind Blows – Are We Headed For Another Polar Vortex? Folks, I’m looking out my window here at Jape News headquarters and let me tell you, it doesn’t *feel* like April. Fifty-nine degrees, ...

By Ronald Peabody · 4/2/2026

## Nature’s Fury: Are We Being Punished for Our Waywardness? Folks, I’m looking out my window here at Jape News headquarters and let me tell you, it’s a mess. A *real* mess. Rain coming down in sheet...

By Ronald Peabody · 4/2/2026

## A Chill Wind Blows – And Not Just From Washington Folks, let’s talk about the weather. Not the kind of “weather” the media likes to manufacture – the political kind – but the *actual* weather. And...

By Ronald Peabody · 4/1/2026

## A Chill in the Air – And a Warning for Tomorrow Folks, I’ve been watching the weather patterns, and frankly, it’s a bit concerning. Here in Grand Rapids, we’re looking at a chilly 42 degrees under...