Latest Articles
HERRING SHORTAGES, GLOWING SQUIRRELS & SENTIENT TOAST ARE RUINING YOUR LIFE (Probably)!
By Bronbus Quitley Ā· 1/26/2026
## Is the News Giving *You* the Shakes? (A Totally Scientific Investigation) By Bronbus Quitley, Jape News Investigative Reporter (and expert onā¦ well, everything, really) Alright folks, letās talk....
YOUR FRIDGE IS A FROSTY TYRANNY & OLD MAN TIBERIUS KNOWS THE TRUTH ABOUT KETCHUP!
By Bronbus Quitley Ā· 1/21/2026
## Bronbus Quitley's BOMBSHELL Report: Your Fridge is a LIE! (And Probably Killing Your Ketchup) Folks, Bronbus Quitley here, and let me tell you, Iāve stumbled onto something HUGE. Bigger than the G...
ROCKETS BAKE BREAD FASTER THAN PIGEONS SPY! (And My NASA Dreams)
By Bronbus Quitley Ā· 1/19/2026
## Blast Off with Baked Goods: Are Rocket-Powered Bakeries the Future of Flavour? - By Bronbus Quitley Now, let me tell you, Iāve seen a LOT in my time as a journalist for Jape News. I once interview...
UPSIDE-DOWN RAIN & ACORN-HELMETED SQUIRLS: Is Gravity Taking a Lunch Break?!
By Bronbus Quitley Ā· 1/15/2026
## Is it Snowing Upside Down?! ā A Grand Rapids Weather Report (by Bronbus Quitley) Good morning, Grandville! Or afternoon, depending on how long youāve been staring at the sky, wondering if itās dec...
HAWAIIAN SNOW & ATLANTIS FLOODSāMY AUNT MILDRED WAS RIGHT ABOUT THE PIGEONS!
By Bronbus Quitley Ā· 1/6/2026
## Is the World Turning Upside Down? (Probably Not, But Still!) - By Bronbus Quitley Good MORNING, Jape News readers! Or afternoon, depending on if you're one of those folks who sleeps 'til noon. No ...
MAFIA & PIGEONS RULE GAMINGāPlus My Book Is Worth a Fortune!
By Bronbus Quitley Ā· 1/1/2026
## Bronbus Quitley's Absolutely Definitive (and Correct) Gaming Rundown - August 2025! Alright folks, gather āround! Bronbus Quitley here, your guide to all things digital and dazzling! Last month wa...
PIGEONS, PICKLES, & POTENTIAL DOOMSDAY: I BUILT AN EIFFEL TOWER (DON'T)
By Bronbus Quitley Ā· 12/31/2025
## Is the World Ending? (Probably Not, But Letās Talk About It) - By Bronbus Quitley Okay, okay, deep breaths everyone! I just spent the last three days trying to build a fully functional replica of ...
KEYS VANISH! PIGEONS, SQUIRRELS, AND MY PULITZER ARE ALL CONNECTED! (Bartholomew is a JERK)
By Bronbus Quitley Ā· 12/27/2025
## My Keys, Where Did They GO?! - By Bronbus Quitley, Jape News Oh dear, oh dear, oh *dear*. It happened again. You know, they say losing your keys is a sign ofā¦ well, I read it on a cereal box once,...
SKY MIME, BEIGE ALERT, PIGEONS PLOT! Tuesday Maybe?
By Bronbus Quitley Ā· 12/26/2025
## Is it Snow? Is it Sleet? Is itā¦ Tuesday? - A Jape News Weather Report By Bronbus Quitley Good morning, Jape News viewers! Or, good *whatever time it is when youāre reading this*, honestly. Time i...
PARROTS AGREE: News is Terrifying, Fainting Couches are BACK!
By Bronbus Quitley Ā· 12/24/2025
## Is the News Giving *You* the Shivers? (And No, Not From the December Chill!) - By Bronbus Quitley Good morninā, folks! Or, well, good morninā to those of you who havenāt been glued to the news all...