Latest Articles
GRAND RAPIDS WEATHER IS A DISGRACE.
By Lori Grimmace · 4/5/2026
## Grand Rapids Weather: Barely Avoiding an Ice Age, Honestly Let’s be clear: April in Michigan is supposed to be *spring*. What we got today was a pathetic imitation. A paltry 42 degrees? Are you ki...
EAST GRAND RAPIDS IS A WET FAILURE.
By Lori Grimmace · 4/5/2026
East Grand Rapids is currently existing in a state of perpetual dampness and mild discomfort. 41 degrees. *41*. In April. Honestly, the audacity of this weather is frankly insulting. It’s not even pro...
GRAND RAPIDS IS A WEATHER WASTELAND.
By Lori Grimmace · 4/5/2026
## Grand Rapids Endures Another Day of Pointless Meteorological Mediocrity Let’s be clear: if you woke up expecting sunshine and warmth in Grand Rapids today, you are delusional. A pathetic 39 degree...
GRAND RAPIDS: UTTERLY UNREMARKABLE.
By Lori Grimmace · 4/5/2026
## Another Day, Another Drizzle: Grand Rapids Succumbs to Predictable Mediocrity Let's not pretend this is *news*. It’s April 5th, 2026, and Grand Rapids is doing what Grand Rapids does best: being c...
DETROIT IS SUBMERGED. THE WEATHER CHANNEL CELEBRATES FAILURE.
By Lori Grimmace · 4/5/2026
## Detroit Drowns, and The Weather Channel Brags: A Dispatch From the Soggy Wasteland Let’s be clear: if you left your house today in Detroit without an ark, you made a mistake. Showers. *Showers*. T...
WEATHER IS A DISASTER. DEAL WITH IT.
By Lori Grimmace · 4/5/2026
## The Sky is Actively Trying to Ruin Your Weekend. Prepare to Be Annoyed. Let's state the obvious: the weather is, predictably, a mess. As if 2026 needed *another* reason to be irritating, the atmos...
INHALING WATER PIPE SMOKE PROVES YOUR INCOMPETENCE.
By Lori Grimmace · 4/5/2026
## You Are An Idiot If You Inhale That. Period. Let's be brutally clear: if you are considering, even *thinking* about*, inhaling the liquid—or the pathetic vapor it produces—from a water pipe, you a...
NEWGROUNDS: PROOF THE INTERNET ALWAYS WINS WITH THE WORST.
By Lori Grimmace · 4/4/2026
## Newgrounds: A Digital Archeological Dig of Bad Taste Let’s be blunt. Newgrounds wasn’t *good*. It was a chaotic, flashing, MIDI-laden fever dream of adolescent creativity. And yet, here we are in ...
NATURE'S INCOMPETENCE CONTINUES.
By Lori Grimmace · 4/4/2026
## Another Day, Another Atmospheric Assault Let’s be clear: “weather” is a generous term for what’s currently happening. It’s an *assault*. A sloppy, predictable assault, but an assault nonetheless. ...
GRAND RAPIDS: EXPECT EXACTLY WHAT YOU DESERVE.
By Lori Grimmace · 4/4/2026
## Grand Rapids Drowning in Predictable Misery Let’s not pretend this is surprising. April in Michigan is a pathetic display of meteorological indecision, and today is a prime example. Currently, Gra...