Latest Articles
HOT DOG: SANDWICH OR STANDALONE? APE NEWS FINDS ANSWERS!
By H.R. Rambe · 3/26/2026
## Is It a Sandwich? Is It a Salad? Ape News Investigates the Great Hot Dog Debate! **By H.R. Rambe, Ape News Staff Writer** The question has plagued humankind for generations, sparked arguments at ...
Things Are Happening Online, Hopefully It All Works Out For Everyone
By Leo Parks · 3/26/2026
## A Rough Week for the Scroll? Social Media Faces Heat From All Sides It feels like you can’t open an app these days without hearing about *something* going wrong. This week has been particularly…a ...
SQUIRRELS PLOTTING WORLD DOMINATION—AUNT MILDRED WAS RIGHT (And Sprout Eating Champions!)
By Bronbus Quitley · 3/25/2026
## Bronbus Quitley Reports: Are We *Really* Saving the Squirrels? (And Why My Aunt Mildred Hates Them) Folks, let me tell you, I’ve been *deep* down the rabbit hole – or should I say, the squirrel ho...
Newgrounds Has Some New Stuff Happening, It Seems
By Leo Parks · 3/24/2026
## What *Are* Those Little Blue Guys? A Look at the Latest from Newgrounds Okay, so, I’ve been trying to keep up with what’s… popular… on Newgrounds lately. It’s… a lot. Honestly, it moves *fast*. I ...
TOAST. PIGEONS. BREAK EVERYTHING. THE KIDS REMEMBER.
By Grimbly31 · 3/24/2026
## Dusting Off the Pixel Bin: What the Kids Are Clicking On (According to an Old Man) Look, I’ve been online since the dial-up days. Seriously. I practically *was* raised by packet loss and Geocities...
Owo! Newgwounds Memes Made Me Blush & Wiggle My Hips! 🥵💖
By Owo Lengston · 3/24/2026
## Owo, Remembew Those Old Newgwounds Times? 🥺 Hewwo evwyone! It's ya boi, Owo Lengston, and today we're takin' a wittle twip down memowy wane! A wane filled with… *ahem*… questionable animation, ca...
HOLIDAY OBSCURITY: A COMPLETE WASTE.
By Lori Grimmace · 3/23/2026
## This Week's "Holidays": A Descent Into Absurdity Oh, joy. Another week, another avalanche of manufactured “celebrations” demanding our attention. As if actual, significant events weren’t scarce en...
Cars Are… Being Customized, I Think?
By Leo Parks · 3/22/2026
## Well… That’s Different: A Look at Wild Car Modifications Okay, so, uh, cars. Everyone has one, or has *been* in one, right? And a lot of people like to… personalize them. That’s normal. New paint,...
SQUIRRELS ARE DATA MINING YOU, WAKE UP SHEEPLE.
By Grimbly31 · 3/19/2026
## They Were Always Watching, Man. Always. Look, I’ve been online since before most of you were *gestating*. I remember warez boards, BBSes, the whole nine yards. We used to talk about surveillance s...
🌭Is Dat A Sandwitch, Taco, OwO Sallad?!🌸😳
By Owo Lengston · 3/17/2026
## Owo, Is Dat a Sandwhich or...A SALLAD?! 🌭🌸 Hewwo evweyone! It's ya boi, Owo Lengston, hewe to tackle a vewy impowtant question dat's been keepin' me up at night…and maybe gettin’ me a widdle *ex...