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Tagged with: "#current events"
Header image for: SKY IS GREY PUFFY MAYBE RAIN!

SKY IS GREY PUFFY MAYBE RAIN!

By Jerome Skinly · 3/24/2026

## The Sky is Doing Stuff! - By Jerome Skinly Hi! I'm Jerome and I write for Jape News! Today the sky is
 doing stuff. My mom said it's called “weather.” It's not raining RIGHT now, but it *looks* li...

Header image for: WORLD LAGS. EXPECT ROLLBACK.

WORLD LAGS. EXPECT ROLLBACK.

By Grimbly31 · 3/21/2026

## Static and Signal: A View from the Ruins Look, I’ve seen cycles. Real cycles. Before your “cloud,” before even *dial-up* was a gleam in a Bell Labs engineer’s eye, things
 escalated. Then de-escal...

Header image for: WEATHER IS A DISGRACE.

WEATHER IS A DISGRACE.

By Lori Grimmace · 3/17/2026

## This Weather is an Insult Let’s be clear: the weather isn’t *interesting*. It simply *is*. And right now, it’s offensively mediocre, bordering on actively hostile. Reports are flooding in – natura...

Header image for: God’s Wrath: Are Storms A Judgment On Modern America?

God’s Wrath: Are Storms A Judgment On Modern America?

By Ronald Peabody · 3/10/2026

## Nature’s Fury: Are We Being Punished for Our Sins? Folks, I’ve been watching the weather reports, and frankly, it’s downright *Biblical* out there. Not just a little rain and wind, no. We're talki...

Header image for: HUMANITY'S OBSESSION WITH DAYS IS PATHETIC.

HUMANITY'S OBSESSION WITH DAYS IS PATHETIC.

By Lori Grimmace · 3/9/2026

## A Week of
Things. Honestly. Right, let’s get this over with. Apparently, humanity *insists* on marking days on a calendar. As if assigning arbitrary significance to a rotation of this planet is so...

Header image for: Weather's Just
Kind of Doing Its Thing Today

Weather's Just
Kind of Doing Its Thing Today

By Leo Parks · 3/3/2026

## A Bit
 Unpredictable, Honestly Okay, so, the weather today. It’s
 well, it’s *something*. I tried to get the official forecast, you know, the really detailed one with the temperatures and everythi...

Header image for: MARCH IS A DISGRACE.

MARCH IS A DISGRACE.

By Lori Grimmace · 3/2/2026

## The Calendar is CLUTTERED. A Rundown of March's Madness. Let's be blunt: March is an avalanche of "awareness days" and half-hearted celebrations. Apparently, *everyone* deserves a day. And frankly...

Header image for: WORLD IMPLODING. NO SURPRISES.

WORLD IMPLODING. NO SURPRISES.

By Lori Grimmace · 2/28/2026

## The World is Burning, and No One Seems Surprised Let’s state the obvious: we are witnessing a spectacular, multi-faceted collapse. Anyone who tells you otherwise is either deeply delusional or act...

Header image for: Owo! Wawwd's a Messy Thwee-Way & My Heawt's Dooin' a Wiggle! đŸ„ș👉👈

Owo! Wawwd's a Messy Thwee-Way & My Heawt's Dooin' a Wiggle! đŸ„ș👉👈

By Owo Lengston · 2/25/2026

O-owO Hewwo evewyone, it’s ya boi Owo Lengston, bringin’ you da scoop fwom awound da wowwd! It’s been a wittle bit of a chaotic week, and my wittle heawt is feelin’ a bit twiggery
but in a good way? *...

Header image for: WORLD’S GONE BONKERS—FROGS, LICORICE & YAKS OH MY!

WORLD’S GONE BONKERS—FROGS, LICORICE & YAKS OH MY!

By Bronbus Quitley · 2/16/2026

## A World Gone Wibbly-Wobbly, Timey-Wimey
 and Slightly Smoky **By Bronbus Quitley, Jape News International Correspondent (and Enthusiast of Fine Hats)** Good morning, citizens of Earth! Bronbus Qu...